I ordered tea and toast in a café the other morning and the waitress' response was "Awesome!"Awesome? It was tea and toast, for pity's sake!
What the hell would she have said if I'd ordered the Full English Breakfast??
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She would not have said anything had you ordered the Full English Breakfast. She would have fainted dead away from the thrill of it.
ReplyDeleteI find that tea and toast teapottoasterthingy quite fascinating... I've seen a toaster that also has an egg-cooker, but not a teapot. What will they think of next? (Whatever it is, it's sure to be awesome.)
TRIAS: Tri as I might, I can't think of anything more awesome than an order of tea and toast. You could have asked for marmalade, and made her day. (Many people nowadays like marmalade instead...)
What was rather surprising was that whilst they brought you the tea - for once in a decent-sized china teapot - the toast was a do-it-yourself affair: a large bag of sliced bread, one of those continuous conveyor-belt-toaster-machines and a selection of spreads including, jam, peanut butter, Marmite and marmalade which I think - regardless of whatever Mr Milne said - is nicer in addition to butter. So maybe the cause of my order being 'awesome' was that she didn't have to be bothered with toasting the toast!
ReplyDeleteMaybe she was really impressed by your willpower at not ordering a fry-up.
ReplyDeleteWas the toasting machine any better than the majority of the ones I've had experience of? Generally, the first time it drops off the conveyor belt, it's too pale and the second time it's burnt.
aperbon: bon appertit a bit mixed up
A china teapot? Not one of those tiny metal things that one gets all the time in restaurants over here? Too bad, though, that they spent all their money on teapots, and had none left over with which to hire a toast-person. (One assumes that a person hired specifically to make toast would eventually become a toastmaster ??)
ReplyDeleteI'm of the butter and marmalade school, myself. Only I prefer ginger marmalade to the traditional orange or three-fruit.
SHARON - You have a point: now I come to think about it, I was pretty amazed that I hadn't ordered the fry-up, too!!
ReplyDeleteSCB - Yes, china! And, what's more - unlike those tiny stainless steel pots with badly fitting (or, often, non-fitting) lids, it poured into the cup rather than all over the table!
I, too, like ginger marmalade but they don't do it in a 'reduced sugar' version which is kind of preserve currently in use in the Sibley household - as part of the fiction that I am on a diet.
Oh, and very well done for 'Toastmaster'!
Alas and alack, I'm supposed to avoid sugar entirely (or nearly so), so ginger marmalade and others of its ilk are only distant glowing memories... (but I can still taste them in my mind's mouth. What? People talk about seeing something in the mind's eye...) I do miss ginger marmalade. Hypoglycemia is not as much fun as one might think. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI like mind's mouth: maybe we should try and get the phrase - along with mind's ear, perhaps - adopted into common English usage.
ReplyDeleteI think you should give yourself a pat on the back, Brian - you just need to keep the impetus going.
ReplyDeleteI was out covering an event last night and they had tea, cakes and sandwiches - and I was sitting at a half-empty table. I had one sandwich and no cakes. So if I can do it, so can you - and if you start to notice the pounds coming off - even a little - it really enthuses you to lose more.
Yes, well done SCB, with your 'mind's mouth' - terrific!
Greph: what you come to if you keep over-eating.
As Charlie Brown might say, "Good greph!" or, in this case, not...
ReplyDeleteThe way you English talk about breakfast is just well cool !
ReplyDeleteErcester : A small village in the Cotswolds whose migrant descendants now seem to need an entire medium-sized city on a valley floor somewhere the the midwest of America.
Cool tea? Oh, dear me, no! It simply must be absolutely piping hot!!
ReplyDeleteAnd in this clammy weather it's actually one of the best drinks for helping quench the thirst.
ReplyDeleteI agree Sharon, its totally wicked.
ReplyDeleteSquineso : A local dish which sounds exotic but turns out to have come from the Isle of Wight.
'Cool'? 'Wicked'? C'mon you guys, I've already told you, it's bloody AWESOME!
ReplyDeleteSo. I showed my wife this post, and she (as do I) loves it. Now, whenever we want to say something is 'awesome', we now substitute the phrase 'tea and toast'. My wife, the ever loyal Alice fan like myself, whenever she sees you on the Lord of the Rings supplemental says 'tea and toast'. Needless to say, she is a fan of yours. As are we all.
ReplyDeleteThat's very funny, Matt! I'm raising a cuppa to you and your wife as I write! Cheers!!
ReplyDeletePS: What ARE you doing reading posts from 2009?!!