Wednesday, 11 August 2010


Of course I'm not going to take part in Come Dine With Me, but - just supposing - I were, what would I serve?

The obvious answer has been provided by Roger and Sheila (many thanks) in the form of a copy of Roald Dahl's Revolting Recipes inspired by various odious episodes from Dahl's vivid (and often lurid) imagination and depicted, of course, by Quentin Blake

Among possible dishes that I might have tackled (if I were going on the show, which, of course, I'm not!) are Snozzcumbers (cucumbers stuffed with tuna and poppy seeds), Stink Bugs' Eggs (hard boiled eggs with the yolks mixed with cheese, curry powder and chopped gherkins sprinkled with Asafoetida, an Indian herb that, apparently, smells of sweaty socks) and Crispy Wasp Stings, Wormy Spaghetti, Hot Frogs (served on a pool of green custard) and Mosquitoes' Toes and Wampfish Roes Most Delicately Fried which - because it's more fun - I'll leave you to imagine for yourselves.

The book is full of recipes on which children, in our obsessive age of health and safety, probably ought not to be let lose! For example, there are instructions for making Candy-Coated Pencils for Sucking in Class without any warnings to stop sucking when you get down to the paint and lead! And as for the Enormous [Savory] Crocodile...

...that uses a baguette and a wire coat-hanger (without its hook) to keep the 'jaws' open!

Suitable beverages include Frobscottle - liquidised kiwis and limes, drinking yogurt, lemonade, cream soda and a Redoxon tablet added just before drinking. This would be perfect for a Come Dine with Dahl experience, following which guests could settle down to a hilarious whizzpopping contest!!

Is to late, I wonder...?

Messrs Dahl & Blake (by Blake)
enjoying frobscottle and snozcumbers


Steven Hartley said...

My great-aunt has a picture frame of Quentin Blake and had met him some twenty years, when he was doing an illustration and demonstrating to the audience, and after he was done, and by the end of some festival my aunt went to, no-one seemed to have bought his drawing, so my aunt bought the drawing and recieved a letter some days later I believe.

I like his illustrations he did on the later Roald Dahl books, Roald Dahl has to be one of my favourite authors, he writes every sentence very interesting, and I've never read any books by him that was bad, and my favourite Dahl book, has to be one of his scariest, The Witches, its just a very interesting book and great story!!

I heard that some adults used to think that his stories were revolting to children, but I think they're charming!!

She seems to be a Quentin Blake fan, because at her house she has some coffee mugs and plates with Blake's illustrations.

I sort of used to think that Quentin's drawings were a mess!! But its is style of drawing, and I accept his unique visual design today!!

Suzanne said...

Coming back from Canada, where I partook of some really decadent breakfasts and desserts (amongst other delights!), I thought the Snozzcumbers sounded quite nice! What channel is this going to be on?
doniz: doughnuts dipped in mayonnaise

Brian Sibley said...

Steven - I am so old that I remember some of Roald Dahl's books before they were illustrated by Quentin Blake.

The interesting thing about Blake's work is the question of what makes it so appealing to readers - young and old? It always looks rather rough-and-ready as if it had just been dashed off (although I know that he does lots of preparatory sketches before making the final ones that appear in the books) and, if I'm honest, I don't find that they offer me very much in terms of a second or third visit to a book; BUT - and it is a big 'but' - his drawings have immediacy, liveliness and HUGE energy.

By the way, did you read my story about interviewing Roald Dahl?

Suzanne - Come Dine With Me" is on Channel 4, but I'm really NOT going on it!!

boinky said...

Sounds like something my grandsons would love...thanks for the "headsup". I posted it to my blog with a short quote (If you object I'll remove it).

Brian Sibley said...

That's fine! :)

Brian Sibley said...

However, I'm sorry you also used your blog to direct your readers to YouTube's theft of the BBC audio version of The Lord of the Rings.

You say that you bought your copy (thank you) but everyone who takes it from YouTube needs to know - even if they don't give a damn! - that they are hurting the earnings of all those involved in making that production: writers, actors, musicians and, the underlying copyright holder, the Tolkien estate.