But it can't be helped: ELAINE sent me the following story from the BBC News website (so it must be true) and I simply have to pass it on - not for any unintentional amusement it might occasion, but as a vital public warning to my readers...
Man is found glued to toilet seat
A man had to be taken to hospital still attached to a steel toilet after super-glue was deliberately smeared on the seat.
Firefighters were unable to free the man and were forced to remove the entire toilet with the man attached.
The 35-year-old was in a public toilet cubicle in Brierley Hill in the West Midlands when he became stuck. He was taken to hospital where doctors had to get into the ambulance before using chemicals to free him.
An ambulance service spokesman said: "He appeared to be none the worse for his ordeal other than being understandably somewhat embarrassed."
It is thought the glue had been smeared on the toilet seat by a prankster.
An ambulance crew and a rapid response vehicle attended the scene just before midday but they were unable to free the man.
"With the help of a local authority and the fire and rescue service, the man was removed from the cubicle still attached to the stainless steel toilet," the spokesman said.
The toilet was later taken back to the public convenience and re-installed.
Minus the glue, hopefully...