Saturday 13 March 2010


The Results!!

This was the picture for which I asked you provide captions and it produced a healthy 'crop' of entries!

Since I've been totally bogged down struggling with the task of writing far less interesting captions for my next book and since (for some inexplicable reason) DAVID WEEKS forgot to enter the competition this time, I invited him to judge competition on my behalf.
He reviewed the entries anonymously and arrived at a decision.

But before the winners, here are the very entertaining and ingenious runners-up...


"I didn't like this green originally but now its growing on me."

"I think I'm ready for the Lord of the Rings Fancy Dress Party now - hope no one else goes as Treebeard."

"Someone's taking this 'go green' nonsense far too seriously!"

"We selected her for originality - all the other blog competition subjects arrived in Calvin Klein underwear for some reason..."

[DW says: I liked this but ultimately felt that to be truly funny you had to be privy to other competitions and that it lacked the direct response to the current competition picture – even so Highly Commended and I nodded as I smiled.]


"I hope the gardener prunes this properly!"

"Does this make my head look bigger?"

"Knew I should have stuck to my usual shampoo."

"When I said I wanted some wine, I meant from the bottle - not to grow my own grapes!"


"When I said I wanted you to MOULD me into becoming another TWIGGY this is NOT what I meant!"

What do you get if you cross Barbara BROCOLLI with Elijah WOOD?

Treebeard’s assertion that the Ent-Wives had completely vanished from Middle-Earth proved to be totally false.

Given her lack of academic results the pupils weren't completely surprised when they found out the head was branching out.


Looking at his reflection, Alan Titchmarsh liked the side effects but wondered if his new shampoo for Oreal - 'Compost Lather and Grow (because you're worth it)' - was a little too organic...


"Does your hair bite, madam?"

"Oh my, Cynthia - your latest hairstyle has me green with envy!"

"This hair used to be Edward G Robinson..."

[I think this needs an explanation, Sharon M, but you'll have to do the honours. Ed.]


"When they said herbal shampoo, I didn't know THIS was what they meant!"

"Wash and go, wash and go... where am I supposed to GO with this?"

"I wonder how many people will guess those branches are actually pinned into my scalp... How else would they stand up like that?"

"That's the last time I let my florist friend help me wash my hair!"

"Does my bum look big in this?"

"And now I can finally get Radio 6!"

Pass me the hair straighteners someone!

[DW says:
Highly Commended.]

Third Place


She doesn't look much now but wait until spring !

Second Place

("With an entry," says David W, "that is reminiscent of
I’m Sorry, I Haven’t a Clue...)

"You idiot! I said I wanted to look like a SEDUCER!"


("Even though," admits David, "I had to look up the meaning of 'ficus'!")


Applying for the job at The Royal Parks’ accounting division Emma showed she had a head for ficus.

Well done to the winners and thanks to everyone for taking part and to David for judging the Best in Show (Herbaceous Border Category)!


SharonM said...

All I will say, is 'Soylent Green'.

Brian Sibley said...

Coo... Yes, of course! Very clever. So much so, it went straight over our heads, I'm afraid! Are you demanding a re-count? ;) How was Rippon?

SharonM said...

In future, I'll be less subtle!

I don't go to Ripon till tomorrow - hopefully Ripon will survive!

Suzanne said...

"straight over your heads"??? Was that intentional?

Brian Sibley said...

SHARON M - They're more used to subtlety in Rippon! :)

SUZANNE - Was what intentional? ;)

Arts and Crafts said...

I think this time must have been hard to pick the winners, I have lot of fun with all the proposals, one of the funniest Captions C.

Brian Sibley said...

It was, EUDORA, although we missed having your entries this time! :)

Good Dog said...

Oh, thank you very much for that.

Having had a week where I just wanted to push the keyboard away so I’d have more room to bang my head on the desk, I’m far more thrilled about this than I probably should be. Anyway, it has certainly perked me up.

I remember waiting to cross the Herbaceous Border at the infamous Checkpoint Charlie Dimmock, and a very tense time it was too.

Brian Sibley said...

You're welcome, DG, thoroughly deserved! If it was also therapeutic, that is an agreeable bonus! :)

Suzanne said...

Was the PUN intentional? "straight over your heads": straight, heads, after all this talk about hair etc... Oh never mind, maybe it's just me...
xygativa: a hair-curlingly appalling pun

Brian Sibley said...

Yes!! That why I asked: "Was what intentional?" That was intentional, too! That's why I gave a little ;)

Sorry, I ought to remember that some jokes don't work on blog comments! Thanks, by the way, for some very funny entries. Had BBC Radio 6 been 'axed' (intentional) when you penned that one??

Suzanne said...

No, no, not at all. Straight off the top of my head (pun intended - oh dear, this is getting ridiculous!), early morning after another disturbed night - as usual!