'EAR, 'EAR!

Wot's all this ear then...?

One of my birthday presents this year from Irascian: a new kind of hearing aid for the over 60, perhaps? Or an incentive to audition as an extra in The Hobbit? Or, of course, they may just be a joke!!

Just let anyone say it is an improvement...

ONE OFF FILMS

Here's another of those spoof posters from

And thanks to those of you who sent me possible movie titles that are just One Letter Off from titles with which we are all too familiar.

This was not intended as a competition, although it certainly brought in a flood of entries from one regular correspondent along with more modest submissions from others.

So, no winners (apart from Lisah who wins hands down on quantity) just an opportunity to enjoy each other's wit. However I have awarded ** gold stars ** to the films the editor most wants to see!

Though you may not believe it, this is not the entire list, but it is certainly a list of best...

From Gill...

** Sheepless in Seattle **

The Good the Bed and the Ugly
Lord of the Files
Sweeping Beauty
Lady and the Trump
Pratty Woman
Gone with the Wand

From Sheila...

** How Greek was My Valley **

Animal Fart
(Or, on a similar theme, One With the Wind)

I Capture the Cattle

From Phil...

** Schindler's Lisp **

Wary Poppins
Something Wicker This Way Comes
The Illustrated Nan
Voyage to the Bottom of the Set
The Cowering Inferno
How the Vest Was Won

From Suzanne...

** When Harry Wet Sally **

Fiddler on the Hoof
A Hard Day's Fight
The Bull Monty
Forrest Bump
Mouth Pacific
About a Boy
Boy Story
Big Dish
Olives!

From Lisah....

** The Fridge over the River Kwai **

Pilates of the Caribbean
The Tree Musketeers
Saturday Night Never
The Devil Fears Prada
The Great Drain Robbery
Blazing Paddles
The Lizard of Oz
The Lazy Killers
Silly Elliot
Hen Hur

Also from Lisa (who has way too much time on her hands)...

The Ring and I, King Pong, The Toad to Rio, Top Bat, Lady and the Gramp, The Hound of Music, Seven Rides for Seven Brothers, The Man Who Would be Kin, The Hall of the Roman Empire, Silent Green, Glade Runner, Bride and Prejudice, Prom Hell, Night of the Living Head, Pry Freedom, Shawstank Redemption, The Battle of the Bunge, Casing Royale, From Prussia With Love, Dr Mo, Coldfinger, Moonfaker, Lie Another Day, Mellow Submarine, Done with the Wind, Star Bars, Potting Hill, Lie Another Day, Dove Actually, Hambi (about a piglet rather than a deer), and El Yid (with Mel Brooks instead of Charlton Heston!)

And, finally, this from Roger...

** None Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest **

Thanks everyone! Going to the movies isn't ever going to be quite the same again!


Images: Worth 1000.

HEADS AND TAILS

As everyone knows, this is the front side of the Mount Rushmore National Memorial...


Which means that this is must be the backsides...


You can read more about the genuine history of the Mount Rushmore Memorial here and here.

TAKEN FOR A RIDE

Yesterday's blog - as you obviously guessed - was a JOKE... You did guess, didn't you...?

You may remember, sometime last year, I wrote about how humanists were taking bus side advertisements with the (to some) controversial slogan...


Well, my friend Irascible Ian came across a fun little device - the Bus Slogan Generator - which allows you to create your own topical advertisement.

The only trouble is the example they give is a rather difficult act to follow...


But why not have a go for yourself - here?

Send me the results (c/o webmaster@briansibley.com) and I'll publish the best.


Image: The photo used by the Slogan Generator was taken by John Worth of the Atheist Bus Campaign and you can read more about that organisation on their official website.

GOING BANANAS!

Following on from the misadventure of the keys and the bananas which I reported the other day, I can now tell you that the---


...is, apparently, he world's---

MOST POPULAR FRUIT

It is also, of course, unquestionably the rudest (wasn't it Mrs Beeton who described it as "a vulgar fruit"?) and, probably, the silliest which it is why it is the butt - if a banana can be a butt (no, please don't let's go there!) - of so many jokes...

Q: What's yellow and always points north?
A: A magnetic banana.

Q: Why don't bananas snore?
A: Because they don't want to wake up the rest of the bunch.

Q: What do you do if you see a blue banana?
A: Try and cheer it up.

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't find a date.

Q: If a crocodile makes shoes, what does a banana make?
A: Slippers.

Q: What is yellow on the inside and green on the outside?
A: A banana dressed up as a cucumber!

But what about this one...

Q: What's the best way to make a banana disappear?

A: Send for regularly-featured Sibley-blog-star, Richard Wiseman

And finally......

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Banana!

Banana who?

Knock, knock!

Who's there?

BANANA!

Banana WHO?

Knock, knock!

WHO'S THERE??

Orange!

Orange who?

Orange you glad I didn't say banana?