I KNOW THE FACE BUT...

Some 21 years ago, I was standing in line for 'Mr Toad's Wild Ride' in Disneyland, when a man mistakenly thought I was Francis Ford Coppola.

This wasn't quite as absurd as it might sound, because the then new 3-D Michael Jackson movie, Captain EO, was being premiered that day in the park and the film had been directed by FFC.

In response, I tried pointing out that Mr Coppola was unlikely to have to stand in line at Disneyland, but my accoster was unconvinced by that or, indeed, by my British accent. "Oh, well," he said, "if want to be difficult! I was only going to suggest you should give my son, Tommy here, a screen-test because the kid's a born natural, but I'm sorry to have bothered you!"

I politely replied that I was, in fact, a journalist from London reporting on Francis' film rather the man himself - but it was to no avail. "So bloddy grand, these frigging celebrities!" he muttered.

Later in the day, another Godfather fan-boy came up and asked me to pose for a photo and, once again, I explained that I was not who he thought I was!

When, however, a third person rushed up to me as I was heading for the exit turnstiles and thrust a pen and autograph book into my hands, I simply smiled sweetly and signed 'Best wishes, Francis Ford Coppola'!

Of course, as the pages of Private Eye long ago proved, Everybody looks like Somebody and having spotted on various blogs that My Heritage was offering to identify celebrity look-alikes I decided to have a go, confidently expecting them to come up with Mr C.

But no!

I tried assorted snaps taken over the last few years showing me with various hairstyles and wearing different glasses (even sans specs) but not so much as a glimpse of Francis...

Oh, well, never mind... At least I have the satisfaction of knowing that I sometimes look like Jack Lemmon or Charlton Heston and - presumably on better days - Vince Vaughan or Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Mind you, any system that thinks I look like Gareth Gates and Bela Bartok (musical though they both are - or were) has got to be, at best, a tad fallible; and whilst the inclusion of Luciano Pavarotti wasn't too much of a surprise, I'm not entirely sure what to make of my supposed likeness to Jesse L Martin, Will Smith and Michael Jordan!





I wonder... Are any of these people ever told that they look like me?!