COMPETITION CAT-ALOGUE

CA(P)TION COM-PET-ITION

The Caption Competition results - eagerly awaited as ever - are now in! As you will see, the usual high standard of submissions was maintained - even surpassed - and I confess that, personally, I would have found it quite difficult to choose winner from a such a range of witty offerings.

Fortunately for me, the competition was judged - as anonymous entries - by SOPHIE, sometime owner of the cats in the picture, and I think it's probably fair to say that some of your entries have made her view her former feline friends in a rather different light!

Here are the entries that weren't placed, though each has its own very definite merits...

From GILL...

Black-and-White Cat: I don't care how much you protest, he looks very like the milkman to me!

From DIVA of DECEPTION...

Ginger Cat: It wasn't me! I NEVER fart in public!

From DAVID WEEKS...

Bruce & Wayne (through gritted whiskers): You know, last year ginger coats where all the rage - now they are just pussy.

(Pause)

I think that's, 'passé'.

(Pause - or paws)

Yes, passé pussy.

Ginger: Huh?

And...

Ginger: Hey… HEY, you know that room… you know where the humans sit down; yeah, sit down on great big water bowl; you know, the one with the lid on it, and they refill the bowl with water when they stand up, and, you know……

WELL… that paper roll they have, you know, the one that's there for Labrador puppies to pull? You know, the one that's there for us to pat around…

WELL… Today, I did with it what the humans do with it… Yeeeeees sireee! I only used a bit of it, held it in my teeth and, you know - course you do…

WELL… guess what? Yes, YES, it's true! The cat food now tastes a whole lot different! Really, and it smells different too! You just got to try it………..

Mungo & Jerry: (Thinks): No comment.

From JOHN...

Yellow Cat (to white cat): Look at him, all alone, no friends, poor colin.

White Cat (to yellow cat): How many times do I have to tell you? It’s porcelain!

From LISAH...

Ginger Cat (to other two cats): So you've been told by the rabbit what life is going to be like, too - we're liable to be stuck down cracks in floors, amongst prickly leaves and may even be asked to model men's underwear!

Middle Cat: Maybe, on reflection, our previous existence was purrfect after all.

Cat on Right: I'm definitely not amewsed.

And so to the winners....


In Third Place from BOLL WEAVIL...

Black-and-white Cat to Orange Cat: No,we can't talk just now. We're taking part in the big Cat Freeze.You wouldn't understand dear, but it's ART.

In Joint-Second Place from GILL and DAVID WEEKS...

GILL...

No eye contact, no eye contact; he'll only ask for money!

DAVID...

No eye contact!

And in FIRST PLACE (and, thus, a double-triumph) BOLL WEAVIL with...

Black-and-white Cat to Orange Cat: Just join us in posing.You only normally get on this site if you're wearing M&S underwear.

Congratulations to the winners, thanks to everyone for taking part and to Sophie for providing the cats and the judging - and here's to the next competition!

And...

Belated apologies to Eudora for losing her caption entry which was...

White Cat: Shhh! Don't look at him! I told you, this is not as distinguished as Chelsea!