Friday, 21 May 2010

STOCKINGFELLERS

While checking out some stuff about Robin Hood - honestly, officer! - I 'Googled' Mel Brook's 1993 send-up, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, and stumbled across the website e-MANcipate.net, an on-line 'Hosiery Fashion Magazine for Men', which is chiefly devoted to promoting the wearing of what are referred to as 'mantyhose' - or pantyhose for men.

Their mission statement, answers the self-posed question, "Why do many men do wear pantyhose as a regular clothing item", as follows:

Why? Because there's nothing gender-specific in this garment. It was worn mostly by women during the last fifty years - but it doesn't mean it for ladies only. Since it's not designed to fit any female organs, it's a unisex clothing item by function, just like trousers, gloves or glasses.

OK, so how come I've never seen any in M&S Menswear Department alongside the usual ties, socks and Y-fronts? Well, probably because they aren't there --- yet!

But there are, I find, plenty of stockists (or, perhaps I should say, 'tightists') on-line including the German company Collanto who issue the following rallying-cry on their British Homepage:

Free yourself from ancient opinions !
Be man enough and explore new worlds
to get the feeling of wearing real men’s pantyhose and tights !
That piece of clothing is no longer for women only.
We have got the tights for real men !

Real men should, without delay, check out their range of Strumphosen fur den Menn that includes products named 'Filip', 'Adam' and rather reassuringly, 'Fred'!

Going back to the e-MANcipate.net site, I'll leave you to fully explore the extensive content. There's so much there...

You'll find useful hints on how to put on your man-tights (in 8 easy steps, starting from position one, right); and, when you've done that, you can enjoy such True Confessions-type articles as 'Ladies, Does Your Guy Wear Pantyhose?' which begins...

"Sarah was shocked to discover a pair of pantyhose in her husband Jeff’s sock drawer. Her alarm turned to puzzlement when she noticed something very unusual about them. They had a fly opening in front. When she confronted him, Jeff reluctantly acknowledged that they were his, and he’d been wearing them because of nagging pain in his legs at the end of his shift as a short order cook..."

...Despite a side-bar link to 'Macho-Mantyhose', I'm not convinced that this is a trend that is going to be taken up without, if you'll pardon the pun, running into quite a few snags along the way!

Meanwhile, back in the Greenwood...




12 comments:

Suzanne said...

Oh that was good!
I can't help wondering what Stephen Fry & other panelists of QI would make of that, after the ribbing Rob Brydon got when he admitted to wearing Knee-Length Socks!
rueestes: the infuriating little hole that appears just on the big toe in a brand new pair of tights

Roger O B... said...

We were going to get you a mankini for your Greek holiday, Brian, but perhaps some fishnets would be better?

Roger
THAYMERR: the opposite of "thay no more"

Brian Sibley said...

SUZANNE - Well, talking of Stephen Fry, check this out and read my memory of Eddie Izzard wearing tights...

ROGER O B - Fishnets! GREAT! Then I could join the locals in their nightly re-enactment of 'The Miraculous Haul of Fishes'!

SharonM said...

What a good idea, Roger - and if Brian is too shy to wear them, perhaps David might model them for him.

Boll Weavil said...

Nice to see your site going back to its roots and finding an excuse for yet another scantily clad gentleman to illustrate your piece. Imagine if men tried to do the same with pictures of ladies. There'd be an outcry !

Brian Sibley said...

But they do, BOLL, on thousands of web- and blog-sites! Some of them even charge for the favour -- whereas at least here you get what you get for FREE!!

Boll Weavil said...

There was an element of irony in my remark Mr B. However, since you mention them, I wonder if you have any addresses of these sites so I can be sure to avoid them...

Brian Sibley said...

"I wonder if you have any addresses of these sites..."

Hang on! You're being ironic again, aren't you? ;)

Mari10240 said...

Acccording to my husband, who is in a position to know (don't ask WHAT position!) builders have been wearing ladies tights in winter since the year dot - they add an extra, non-bulky, layer of warmth, as well as the circulatory support reported in your article. He has not been forthcoming as to whether they modified them with a home-made fly front.

Brian Sibley said...

Thanks for the first-hand (foot?) corroboration of the support-theory, MARI, though I don't think that explains why the young man standing by the Eiffel Tower is wearing zebra-striped tights, do you? Could he conceivably be a builder on a trip to Paris with his mates? I doubt it! ;)

boinky said...

did you know often lifeguards wear two pears of pantyhose to protect themselves against jelly fish stings? One for the top, one for the bottom

And FYI: Rodeo riders sometimes wear long line girdles to protect them from injury...

Brian Sibley said...

Thanks for this information, BOINKY; whilst I have now given up all ambitions to be a rodeo rider, I do occasionally go swimming where (also occasionally) there is a risk of encounters with jellyfish and, having been stung by one of these unpleasant creatures, now have a better idea better idea how to protect myself!