EYEING-UP

Brace yourself, gentle reader, for I am about to open your eyes to yet more GOOGLY-EYED HORRORS!

The other day, I posted - courtesy of my friend, JEN - one of a number of portraits by the artist, Iain Hetherington who, in addition to the usual painterly stuff, uses googly-eyes to catch the gallery-goer's eye...

Well, of course, Art is ART and part of its purpose is to Shock, but what are we to make of a flickr site which Jen also spotted?

American actress, writer and comedienne, Amy Sedaris (right), author of the best-selling i like you: hospitality under the influence, invited listeners to the Leonard Lopate Show on New York Public Radio to respond to a "craft challenge".

Amy's challenge was for people to Make Food Come Alive With Googly Eyes and then photograph the results and upload them to flickr.

The results are, believe me, truly terrifying! So much so, in fact, I can only bring myself to show you a handful of the resulting photos...









To view the entire hell's kitchen of 310 shocking images on 11 ghastly pages, visit the flickr Amy Sedaris Craft Challenge Pool

Or to see these culinary horrors as a slide show, click here

And to discover which monstrosities won and listen to Amy discussing the winning entries, click (if you really must!) here

Whatever (or whoever) you are eating today --- enjoy!

Click image to enlarge and reveal the full fearsome details!

Images (from top): lisacat, kellyc96, rachel is coconut&lime, crubantoast, staramaze, cvloehr, Carol Esther, Angie Naron

EYE, EYE, EYE!

I could tell from the comments left on my last post that there were those among you who doubted that an unnatural obsession with GOOGLY-EYES is making insidious inroads into the fabric of modern society.

Fortunately, my good friend JEN has come to my defence by giving me a couple more examples of the way in which this ghastly disease is taking hold...

For example, Scottish artist Iain Hetherington has added them to several of his works such as this one, Welcome Alien...


Deny it if you like, but I say those eyes definitely follow you round the room...

If you have the nerve, you can look up some of the artist's other googly-eyed portraits on iainhetherington.com.

I have further appalling evidence to place before you, but I am, frankly, too shaken to write any more at the present and it will have to wait until another day when I am a little calmer...

Meanwhile, I hope you will now believe me when I say that the secret vice of sticking sticky-eyes on stuff is rife!

Image: © Iain Hetherington

LOOK-SEE

Nicolas Roeg's 1973 film, Don't Look Now, based on Daphne Du Maurier's short story, suggests that Venice is not the place to go if you are - as they used to say on the cinema posters - of a nervous disposition.

As for us, whilst we've never once spotted Mr Roeg's dwarf in the red raincoat, wandering through the streets of Venice has stirred memories of another film: that last, dreadful offering from the late Stanley Kubrick - for Venice is truly a city filled with "eyes wide shut..."

Indeed, Stan sent his prop-buyer there to get Tom's mask and we came across at least half-dozen mask shops boldly sporting signed testimonials to that effect from no less an authority than Mr Cruise himself.

Anyway, dwarfs aside, we did, quite often, get the feeling that we were being WATCHED --- albeit by largely unseeing eyes...
















Images: © Brian Sibley and David Weeks, 2008

SMALLS-TALK

So the BBC's much-feared political interviewer and general all-round smartypants, JEREMY PAXMAN, has been getting his knickers in a twist about... well... about his... er... knickers!

In a mysteriously leaked private e-mail to Sir Stuart Rose CEO of the department store chain, Marks & Spencer, Paxo briefly expressed his concerns about an issue that he believes to be a matter of "great concern to the men of Britain":

Like very large numbers of men in this country, I have always bought my socks and pants in Marks and Sparks. I've noticed that something very troubling has happened.

There's no other way to put this. Their pants no longer provide adequate support.

When I've discussed this with friends and acquaintances, it has revealed widespread gusset anxiety.

Well, Mr Paxman, the bottom line is you should ought, without further delay, to invest in a pair of Hugo Boss' latest boxer-briefs which are quite obviously intended for those smart arses who always seem to have eyes in -- as well as sometimes talking out of -- their backsides!


Or, maybe, a pair of these for when he's in the hot seat!!


Image: Cartoon © Gary, The Daily Mail, 2008