THE STREET MERCHANTS OF VENICE

One of the curiosities (or, depending how you look at it, irritants) of daily life in Venice is negotiating a passage down the narrow streets (or 'calles') when the street sellers are busy on their unauthorised – in fact, illegal – pitches. I have been, perhaps, more conscious of their presence this visit as David has trundled me along the crowded walkways in our borrowed wheelchair.

We have seen many such sellers over the years, touting mostly cheap toys: squashy gel-filled creatures that can be thrown on the floor, flatten and then slowly reform; rotary things that can be tossed up in the air and spiral down with sound and/or light effects; or dancing cardboard cutouts of Mickey and Minnie Mouse.

By far the most serious trade, however, is done by the African bag sellers who travel into the city daily on the water buses with bulging bl ack bin-liners stuffed with repro (or, to be direct, fake) D&G, YSL, Gucci, Prada and Armani handbags which they sell outside the shops bearing those very names!

Despite posters discouraging tourists from buying these phony goods...

...their trade never diminishes and whilst they relocate the moment a policeman comes into view, we have only ever once seen the officers give chase. So the turning of blind eyes may indicate some further, dubious street-dealing is going on...  

But, this year's most lucrative trade is, undoubtedly, in 'Selfie Sticks', the gadget that once and for all eliminates the need to try and focus your camera-phone if your arms aren't quite long enough and forever ends the tentative request to complete strangers to take your and your Significant Other's photo...  

The sellers are doing a brisk trade and Selfie Stick photography is the thing to be doing...

So, Facebookers can now look forward to even more shared snaps – with just a bit more background in shot –– perhaps!!

"GIVE US A SHOUT!"

Oddity of the week...

The Loud Mouth Phone from Presents for Men...

KNOCK OUT!

Yes, it is a phone book – but not as we know it, Jim!


I was going to entitle this post, 'Sorry, Wrong Number', but then I thought, maybe BT have, actually, got my number!

Better just punch in those digits and wait for the bell to ring!

MUM'S NOT THE WORD

It was Sibley blog-regular, Gill, who introduced me to the wonders of predictive texting (thank you, Gill!), but there are still things about it that I just don't get.

For example, the other day I was trying to text a friend wishing his mother well in facing an operation; but, for some reason, every time I typed the word mum it offered me nun with 'mum' only being available as an option.

I'd always supposed that where there were several options available, the word that predictive texting would offer you first would be the most common, or frequently used, of the various possibilities.

Now, the only reason I can think of for nun being more frequently employed than mum would be if Sisters in silent orders are getting round the non-speaking rule by texting one another on their 'cell phones'!


Even so, surely, they must have the occasional need to refer to their relevant Mum Superior...


Image: Photographer unknown. If you know, let me know so I can give credit where credit is unquestionably due.

PHONE A FRIEND

I'm founding a major new charity which will be known as Friends of the Phoneless or FOPS for short.

How often have you been sitting in a restaurant when the sound of a mobile phone has signalled what will be - for one of a pair of diners - the start of a lonely ten, twenty, thirty minutes while their dining companion takes a call whilst eating one-handed?

The communal pleasure of eating a meal with someone is instantly ruptured and for the phoneless party, there can be nothing more depressing than having to consume a meal in silence while listening to one side of a - usually vacuous - telephone call, at the same time being surrounded by a restaurant full of couples and groups most of whom (except for those with partners on the phone!) are engaged in conversation!

This is the moment when FOPS leap into action!

The FOP volunteer instantly rushes to the table of the abandoned diner and immediately begins engaging him or her in scintillating conversation until the thoughtless partner finally rings off. Then, a valuable job well done, the FOP can return to their own meal.

Why not volunteer, today, and begin your training as a FOP? Remember the phoneless need YOU!