Monday, 2 February 2009

BITING COMMENTS

The recent CAPTION COMPETITION resulted in an excellent crop of entries of an exceptionally high standard.

The image, you will recall, was of a pair of workmen cleaning one of the icthyosaurs in the dinosaur court in the grounds of the Crystal Palace...


Here, then, are your offerings, beginning with the runners-up...

From David Weeks...

"Quick, knock 'em teeth in here before he closes 'is mouf . . . Don't worry they'll never know they're not hen's teeth."

Ichthyosaur: "Doing the teeth is good but I'm going to need headache pill afterwards."

Ichthyosaur: "The teeth, I understand, but the eye bath?"


From Eudora...

"If my eyes were not daisies I could see what this guys are doing with my teeth..."


From LisaH...

"This guy must have cost the tooth fairy a fortune!"

Man with bucket: "Didn't they have floss in his day?"


From Jen...

"I don't mind brushing his teeth but there's no way I'm flossing..."


From Boll Weavil...

"Rinse and spit. If you don't want the bucket mate, don't go NHS."

"Just go behind my ears again Arthur… Oohh... that feels sooo gooood!"

"Just rinse and spit into the sink please. You will be numb for a few hours on your left side but after that OK. We will see you again for a check up in six months."

"OK, that's the teeth done. Now we just have to get you these Calvin Klein's on or Mr Sibley won't use your photo."


From Suzanne...

"Pop down the chemists would you Bert and get me a hundredweight of Dr White's Super Whitening Toothpaste, this stuff ain't doing the trick."

"You oughta stop giving him those humbugs y'know - they're really mucking up this geezer's gums!"


From Gill...

"I told him and told him that bubble gum would get stuck in his teeth!"


From Bentos...

Cleaning bloke 1: "You missed a bit!"

Cleaning Bloke 2: "Bite me!"


From Good Dog...

Said by all three, not listening to either of the others: "Of course back in my day..."


From Elaine...

"With this credit crunch I just hope it doesn't ruin this brush as we're not getting another one!"

And so to the
WINNERS!

Joint-Third Place - Boll Weavil

"Do you know who I had in the back of my enclosure yesterday, boys? That Dickie Attenborough... He's a nice bloke."

Joint-Third Place - LisaH

Icthyosaurus: "How thoughtful of them to bring the bucket - it will be handy for spitting the bones into!"


Second Place - Alex Milway

"You think if we clean it up nice, no-one will notice we swapped its eye for a Jammie Dodger?"


First Place - Bitter Animator

"You couldn't just go for a bloody goldfish, could you? Not good enough for you! No, you had to have an icthyosaurus! You had to be special! Well, now everybody on the bloody street has one, even Mrs. Tiddlepot. Ate 'er bloomin' cat, didn't it? Broke her little heart that did. Bet you don't feel so special now, eh? Eh?!"


CONGRATULATIONS (obviously) to the winners, but THANKS to everyone who entered for giving us such a plethora of entertaining captions: I'd certainly no idea that prehistoric creatures could quite so amusing!

7 comments:

LisaH said...

Well done Brian - a bit of fun is just what we need in these uncertain times - and there's lots of snow outside. Some great captions - think I'll add my 'joint third' to my CV - though I felt that Boll's Calvin Kleins caption deserved a placing.

Brian Sibley said...

I'm sorry, LISAH, but gratuitous references to undergarments does not (automatically) guarantee a placement in caption competition results! Mr Weavil is, of course, well aware of that fact, but enjoys trying to buck the system... ;-)

Boll Weavil said...

Gratuitous references may not do but gratuitous photographs have always worked ! As I was actually wearing a pair of Calvin Klein's during the writing of the caption, I feel I should have gained a higher placing if only for trying to influence the judges.
SARDESSE : The feeling that the judges were overly critical and one's medal or position on the podium was a little further down the order than it might have been.

Brian Sibley said...

Too much information, BW!!

Bitter Animator said...

Wow, thank you! I'm honoured and against such stiff competition too - I do find myself wishing I had spotted the jammie dodger. That was gold.

Thank you very much, Mr. Sibley. I shall be bragging about this one for quite some time.

alex milway said...

Ha! That's brilliant, thanks Brian.

Brian Sibley said...

BA & ALEX - No thanks necessary... Great captions!