DIVINE APPEARANCES

It's doesn't have to be almost Easter, but it helps... I have blogged before about the media's passion for reporting stories about people finding Jesus in unlikely places such as inside the lid of a Marmite jar.

Well, they are at it again this time with Jesus 'materialising' on a dirty tea-towel...


Frankly, I can't see it – or Him, but maybe that's down to a lack of faith...

Anyway, Metro breathlessly reported...

It's well known that cleanliness is up there next to Godliness, but Roisin McCourt wasn't expecting Jesus to pop out of her washing machine load.

Dance teacher Ms McCourt was shocked when she saw the unusual brown stain, which shows what seem to be the facial features of a long-haired, bearded man.

Ms McCourt, 31, has since been mobbed with requests from believers wishing to make a pilgrimage to see the holy imprint.

The Coventry resident said: 'When I took it out I could not believe it. I could see it was Jesus straightaway. I took it to my husband and he agreed with me.

'I don't even know what the stain was made from I had not seen it before I had put it in the washing.

She believes that she has received a sign from God after receiving the surprise.

She said: 'I am Catholic but I am not extremely religious we don't go to mass every weekend but after finding this it has definitely made my faith stronger.'

Some of Ms McCourt's friends have said the image on the towel looks more like Elvis, but Ms McCourt is not convinced.

'I know some people will think it's crazy and I feel a bit silly saying it but I really believe that it is his face.'

'The strange thing is that I have started receiving calls from people asking me if they can come and see the tea towel.

'You never know, it could be Coventry's answer to the Turin Shroud,' she added.

Another resident from Coventry, Alex Cotton, last year claimed to see Jesus face on her drainpipe.

And here, my children is that drainpipe...


In June 2010, under a headline that asked Is this the Second Plumbing?, Metro (again) reported, with reference to earlier holy texts...

We all know that the Lord likes to make his presence felt, be it on a naan bread, in a chip pan or even on Google maps, but now it seems he's taken to the drainpipes of suburbia as well.

Nurse Alex Cotton, 38, returned home from a football match with friends when the holy son decided to make his entrance. While chatting in the garden, eagle-eyed Cotton noticed the mysterious smudge, noticing that ‘It’s got his crown of thorns and beard,’.

We're not entirely sure it's the son of God (it's not), but talk to us after an afternoon's drinking while watching the football and we may well change our minds.

Cotton has even invited the Pope to visit the scene of Jesus' latest apparition, though we imagine his holiness will probably give this one a miss on his next tour of the UK.

Then, just a few days back, there was Jesus in (or on) a log.

Mrs Robertson, mum of two from Solihull told a newspaper (guess which one?): 'We had some firewood by the fireplace – at first it looked like a skull and crossbones – but as the months wore on, it just appeared around the knot in the wood. It was a dark mark and the sap made the face of Jesus – it came up more and more.'

The report went on: Mrs Robertson says the log actually helps to cheer her up and her two kids love it. 'They think it's hilarious,' she said.

And they are not alone, Mrs Robertson.

However, someone who probably won't be laughing (apart from the Pope that is) is Mitchell Grainger, 25, who spotted the Good Lord in a photo of his pet chicken taking a dust bath. A well-known organ of the press (yep, them again) reported Mr Grainger's astonishment at the revelation:

'I literally said ‘Jesus Christ’ when I saw the picture. The face of Jesus is clear to see and when I showed my mom she even pointed out the ring of thorns.'

Gloria, of Rowley Regis, West Midlands, obviously has someone watching over her, after miraculously escaping a vicious fox attack.

'It is strange that it would appear on Gloria because not long ago she was the only chicken out of 20 that wasn’t killed by a fox. She was standing on the step when he came and miraculously wasn’t touched' Grainger added.

'That's why we called her Gloria, after Gloria Gaynor's song 'I Will Survive.'

I confess, on this Palm Sunday, that I believe that the person of Jesus is, in a mystical sense, alive and abroad in our world, infusing and informing the cultural history of mankind.

Thanks to the Metro, I now also believe that quite a lot of people are amazingly stupid and gullible and that newspapers are utterly shameless in their devotion to such attributes!