SIBLEY SILLINESS

I've been involved in some fairly weird and wacky radio projects over the years, but this is probably the most bizarre piece of bonkersness I've ever perpetrated...

Some time (I'm not exactly sure when) after the BBC launched Radio 5 in 1990, someone at the network came up with the idea for a zany experimental series entitled The Last in the Present Series.

Each episode was intended to spoof radio and to provide a solo vehicle for a different writer/presenter/performer. I have a vague memory that Simon Brett was another contributor – but that may be a terrible libel!

Anyway... my episode – Time for Rhyme – was a spoof radio programme in which a children's presenter (plus meddlesome kid sidekick) blunder around the network, eavesdropping on or interrupting the regular output – that's about the measure of it, EXCEPT that all the programmes also happen to feature characters or situations from well-known Nursery Rhymes.

I provided all of the voices - for better or worse – many of which are (or were) supposed to be impersonations of British household names.

So here it is: 25-minutes of Sibley silliness...

...incidentally, I'm not sure it was all my fault, but The Last in the Present Series proved to be EXACTLY THAT!!
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NEWS TO ME!

Damn! I must have slept right through it!

Curiously, instead of celebrating, I spent most of today 'cleaning up' at the flat we have just vacated; and I'll be spending most of the next few days clearing out cardboard boxes from our current residence!

FOLLOW THAT CAB

If Disney – and not Scorsese – had made Taxi Driver...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MR MOUSE

Today is the eighty-second birthday of that veteran of the silver screen...

Mr MICKEY MOUSE

Twenty-two years ago, when Mickey turned 60, I was given an exclusive one-on-one interview with the most famous rodent in Hollywood for Animator magazine.

It was a fascinating experience and I was able to pass on to my readers a number of hitherto unknown facts about the Mouse and his relationships with Walt Disney, Donald Duck and, of course, Minnie Mouse.

Here's how the interview began...

He stands beside the pool, looking rather taller than I had imagined and casually dressed in slacks and a sports shirt with a Betty Boop motif. "Hi, there!" he calls in a sharp Brooklyn accent that takes me somewhat by surprise.

As I walk to meet him, he extends a white-gloved hand in welcome and gives me a broad, beaming smile. That famous Mickey Mouse smile. He grasps my hand with a firm grip and I can’t help noticing that he wears a Ronald Reagan wrist-watch.

"Come over to the yard, and I'll fix you a drink," he smiles and leads the way across a neatly manicured lawn to an Italianate patio behind the imposing pseudo-gothic villa that, mysteriously, has never been listed in The Starland Guide to Hollywood...

"Too early for a Sorcerer’s Apprentice?" he asks. I have to confess that I've never heard of the drink. He gives me a faintly patronizing smile and begins emptying the contents of various bottles into a cocktail-shaker. "They invented it for me at Musso & Frank’s on Hollywood Boulevard, back in 1940," he explains and pours out a large glass of vivid lilac-coloured liquid and hands it to me.

I take a sip and experience a sensation not dissimilar to a heavy blow on the back of the head. "Helluva kick, hasn't it?" Incapable of reply, I catch my breath and loosen my tie. "Have to watch them though," he adds, "I introduced Goofy to them and ever since it's been like Ray Milland in The Lost Weekend over at his place. Tragic!"

Click HERE to read the entire interview

I am not sure how Mickey will be celebrating this year's birthday, but here is how he partied back in 1931...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MICKEY
– and very many more!

CROSS REFERENCES

ELECTION DAY
2010

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POETIC ERRORS

The Haiku is a Japanese verse form of strictly disciplined construction.

Here are a few haikus for those of us who live in daily fear of the computer error...

Something you entered
transcended parameters.
So much is unknown.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

There is a chasm
of carbon and silicon
the software can't bridge.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The code was willing,
It considered your request,
But the chips were weak.

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.


Login incorrect.
Only perfect spellers may
enter this system.

Seeing my great fault
Through darkening blue windows
I begin again.

The Web site you seek
cannot be located but
endless others exist

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have.
You ask way too much.

A crash reduces
your expensive computer
to a simple stone.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen
dies so beautifully.

To have no errors
Would be life without meaning
No struggle, no joy.

And my personal favourite...

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

For more Haiku Error Messages (and for the names of the poets whose work is sampled above), visit 21st: the culture of technology, the technology of culture.