Wednesday, 14 June 2006


I'm back on the subject of toast for a moment, partly because I just remembered that Owl (in ‘Winnie-the-Pooh’) whilst being able to read and write “somehow went all to pieces over delicate words like --- BUTTEREDTOAST!”

My other reason being that polkadots & moonbeams commented on one of my recent postings on the joys of toast: “You missed out one vital point about buttered toast... and that is that it must be hot, so that the butter is all melty and the toast a golden colour!”

This, of course, is indisputable and my only defence in failing to point out this simple (but crucial) condition, is that I assumed it was an obvious fact - wrongly and stupidly!

My experiences staying in a variety of hotels the length and breadth of the British Isles should have taught me by now that that the concept of hot toast is one that is utterly alien within the catering trade. Indeed, order a 'Full English Breakfast' and your tea/coffee and toast will be delivered while you’re still on your cornflakes, in order to guarantee that it is really dry, cold and chewy by the time you’ve got to the end of your eggsbaconsausagebeansmushroomsandtomatoes…

It is time to act! Time for a little Breakfast Rage! We need, without further delay and ado to launch a campaign for Hot Buttered Toast for Breakfast! Campaigners would wear discreet lapel badges emblazoned ‘HBT4B’ and hotel minions proffering their nasty little stainless steel toast-racks with cold, dried-out triangles of yesterday’s ‘Sunblest’ would only have to see it in order to quake with terror and rush to bring us the Real Thing forthwith…