Following on from yesterday's blog about the Oscar-winning potential of British royalty, I keep fantasizing about possible Buck House conversations over the morning papers...
HMQEII: Ah... One reads that Dame Helen is up for an Oscar for playing One... Should One be amused, Phil, do you think?
DofE: I'll tell you what'd be bloody amusing - take her bloody Damehood back! QEI would have chopped her head off before you could say Walter Bloody Raliegh! And I bet she's like those other bloody lefty dames - Jackson and Redgrave! Probably can't act her way out of bloody paper bag and only got made a dame because she supports New bloody Labour!
HMQEII: Blood pressure, Phil! I'm going to ring Blair...
DofE: And about bloody time! Finally going to tell the bugger to pack his bags?
HMQEII: Don't be silly dear! No, if he can fix it for all these people to get honours out of One, then he ought to be able to swing a couple of tickets for One to go the Oscars!
DofE: What? You don't think I'm going, do you? Listen, d'you know who the bloke was who impersonated me? He was the guy who played the farmer in that bloody film about a talking pig! Well, you won't get me there for all the bloody tea in chinkyland!
HMQEII: Don't worry, dear, One'll take that nice Paul Burrell. One hasn't seen him in ages and he lives over there now, so One can save on the air-fares...
DofE: *@!%&$*!
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