Wednesday, 13 June 2007

CRISP COPY

Following on from my recent post about all the stuff one has to read while drinking innocent drinks (your comments on which suggested that they are, actually, GUILTY AS CHARGED!), I've discovered that there's similar larking around going on from the people who make REAL crisps...

REAL crisps, one must suppose, are hoping that their zany pack-messaging will prove more enticing than the boring bags used by Walkers, McCoy’s, Kettle Crisps and other manufacturers of UNREAL crisps --- although discussing crisps in terms of 'reality' or 'realism' is probably, philosophically speaking, a complete waste of time!

Anyway, here's a taster…


And now, of course, you all want to know what the asterisk is for…

OK!

When you turn the packet over, you read…


I did, once, come across one REAL crisps packet with no gags and jokes…


…apart from the ludicrous notion of crisps flavoured with the results of an Ox Roast…

Oh, yes, we can see them now, can’t we? All those employees at the REAL Crisps factory got up to look like the chorus from Merrie England with row upon row of whole Oxen turning on the spit!


All examples of curious copywriting gratefully received.

6 comments:

Good Dog said...

I'd like to know what the party was like at REAL when they fired Crispin feet first out of a cannon... then set the dogs on him.

Boll Weavil said...

And how can they be 'hand-cooked' ? Does that mean someone has to personally hold each crisp over a roaring fire ? Here's another one for you...under contact details 'We'd really love to hear from you' No they wouldn't ! Imagine how fed up their phone operators would be if you just rang up for a chat and to see how everyone was getting on ! Doh !

Phil said...

Roast ox, eh? Far tastier than barbecued beef.

I want to know how the "traditional" crisp flavours came about, given that none of them taste like what they are supposed to taste of. I have been pleasantly surprised by some of Walkers' newer flavours (Lamb & Mint, Cheddar Cheese), and wonder why they took so long to be invented.

Suzanne said...

I wish they still did those crisps with the little packet of salt that you had to mix in yourself. Not only could you decide how much extra salt you wanted, it was fun to play around with!

Qenny said...

I've often wondered about hand-cooked and home-made stuff. When I see home-made soup advertised in a restaurant, I'm often tempted to ask in whose whom it was made.

Brian Sibley said...

QENNY - "whose HOME" I think you meant, but I know what you mean and I agree with you and BOLL WEAVIL, what precisely is "hand cooked"? The Kettle Crips image of someone cooking crisps in a mini-cauldron over a wood fire in an inglenook fireplace in a country farmhouse is... well, frankly, bloody daft!

GOOD DOG - "These wounds I had on Saint Crispian's day..."

PHIL - I remember a TV show where they made strawberry-, banana- and chocolate-flavoured crisps and no one could identify them!

SUZANNE - They did bring back the Add-your-own-salt crisps for a while, but maybe there were health and safty issues... Mind you, ALL crisps are a health and safety hazard!