Tuesday, 16 October 2007

OLD AGE BENEFITS

The other day I was being a tad Eeyore-ish about being too far into my 'fifties and SUZANNE thoughtfully sent me the following thoughts on hitting (or, in my case, almost passing) 50 which had been sent to her and she kindly decided to share...

PERKS OF BEING OVER FIFTY

* Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

* In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

* No one expects you to run--anywhere.

* People call at 9 pm and ask, "Did I wake you?"

* People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

* There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

* Things you buy now won't wear out.

* You can eat supper at 4 pm.

* You can live without sex but not your glasses.

* You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

* You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.


* You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

* You sing along with elevator music.

* Your eyes won't get much worse.

* Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

* Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

* Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

* Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

Suzanne pointed out that she didn't necessarily agree with every one of these 'perks' and nor do I, but there are some - just one or two, of course - that are pretty accurately noted ---- or, at least, I seem to remember thinking they were...

Though quite when that was, of course, or what they were, I'm not now altogether sure...

4 comments:

Qenny said...

Here's another, for your consideration:

You are no longer subject to the strictures of fashion.

(In fact, you are better off avoiding them entirely.)

Brian Sibley said...

GILL comments...

If you consistently alternate your blogs between smut and claiming extreme old age, you will become known as a dirty old man!

And you're not!

Laurie Mann said...

Well, I've needed my glasses since I was 13...and I hope to never outgrow sex!

I turned 50 this year. Since my husband is slightly older, we'd already joined AARP (American Association of Retired Persons). They have an occasionally useful magazine that published the following article this year:

50 Things You Need to Know by 50

http://www.aarpmagazine.org/lifestyle/50_things_to_know.html

Brian Sibley said...

Thanks, Laurie - I'll share these on the blog at some point...