SLIPPING & SLIDING

We're all of us used to seeing cautionary signs such as the one on the left and, if we have any sense, we heed their---

WARNING!

Recently, SUZANNE saw on a sign posted on a sliding toilet door on Belgium Pier that - depending on what language you happen to speak - appears to offer contradictory advice...


If you speak English you're relatively OK, SLIDE PLS; if Flemish is your language, you'll read SCHUIVEN AUB ('PLEASE MOVE' or 'SHOVE') and, probably, get the generally idea; but what about those poor French who see GLISSER SVP and read it as 'SLIP (or even SKID), IF YOU PLEASE'?

Let's just hope the floors were dry...

Talking of signs on lavatory doors, I spotted one on my recent hospital visit...


Excellent, I thought: a PATIENT TOILET: just what we all need at some point! You know, the kind of toilet that, however many times you need to use it's facilities, will never complain; and however long your visits take, will never get cross and impatient and try and hurry you out! Very considerate and thoughtful, I call it!

However, the adjacent door carried this warning...


NOT SUITABLE FOR PATIENT USE? WHY??

And if that no-go symbol represents a PATIENT, what does the symbol for a member of STAFF look like? Maybe it has a stethoscope...