Friday, 9 March 2007


Last night I had dinner with the Queen. Strictly speaking it was a pre-show supper, but it was lavish enough to have been a full-blown, top-notch, pukka dinner…

We were going on to attend a gala performance of something and since I don’t know what it was, I’d best come clean and say that this was in a DREAM!

There was a big screen in the corner of the room relaying images of the crowds gathering and the stars arriving. We were a select group: the Queen and I and two men who, at the time, I seemed to know very well, but who, I now realise, were total strangers!

The others were clearly involved with organising the event in some way and kept excusing themselves and dashing in and out, leaving HM and myself to keep each other company.

The Queen was dolled up in a sparkly evening gown and was wearing a tiara, but the most striking feature was her hair, which was swept up into a great wave of green and white stripes.

I admired the effect and the Queen said she was glad that I liked it as she felt it was an improvement on her usual hair-do. Then she turned slightly in order to show me that the hair at the back of head was raven black. “The trouble is,” she confided, “It’s started growing out, so I’m going to have to get it redone soon.”

We chatted on (some elements of the dream are crystal sharp, others hazy) and, apropos of nothing, the Queen asked if I had seen a list of the people she was going to have to meet. When I said that I hadn’t, she sighed in a slightly world-weary way and said with a smile: “Oh well, I expect they’ll show me one eventually…”

A butler was serving the food and, at one point when he had left the room, the Queen leaned forward and asked, sotto voce, if I had any money with which she might use for a tip. Unfortunately, I hadn’t so she handed me her purse and told me to have a look inside. “It’s no good my looking,” she said, “I haven’t got my specs.”

I rootled through the purse (which seemed to contain very little except a lipstick and large quantity of different-sized Band-aids) and eventually found a ten-pound note carefully folded to display the portrait of herself - though, oddly, without green and white hair.

I expressed some surprise, saying that I’d always heard that the Queen never carried any money.

“Oh, yes!” she replied, “I make it a rule to have a note of the realm handy at all times in case of emergences. In fact, I always say, I never go anywhere without ‘Ten ME’s’!”


If it had really been the Queen, she would have said: “In fact, I always say, I never go anywhere without ‘Ten ONE’s’!”

But that’s dreams for you…

[Image: Royal menu from Royal Insight Magazine; Ocean of Dreams by Josephine Wall]


Suzanne said...

You're so lucky to be able to remember such weird dreams with so much detail! When I have that kind of dream I can never remember that much. I do know that I have dated Mick Jagger and Viggo Mortensen, amongst others... I wonder what they're trying to tell us?!

Scrooge said...

Well, I can at least tell you who the two strange men were - they were Neil Tenant and Chris Lowe of the Pet Shop Boys. They've already mentioned the occurence in one of their songs.As I recall, the lyrics run thus -
"Dreaming of the Queen
Visiting for tea,
Just her and I
And our friend Bri"

Ok, I've changed the last line to make it fit a bit better....
PSB do have a habbit of odd lines in their songs though. In this same song, Neil has the then Lady Di saying
"There are no more lovers left alive,
No one has survived"
He also wrote, in the song 'Kings Cross' -
'Last night I was standing at the station called Kings Cross,
Dead and wounded on either side, its only a matter of time"
Spooky !

Brian Sibley said...

I've never met Mick Jagger, Suzanne, but I do know Viggo and he told me ALL about that date of yours... ;-))

Brian Sibley said...

Yep, Mr Scrooge, they WERE the PSB - it was probably their gig that HM and I were going on to see... Glad that's sorted!! :-)

Qenny said...

I've lived in England for years, on and off, but I don't think I've become naturalised to the point where I would dream of tea with the queen. It's a peculiarly English phenomenon, I believe.

I wonder if she eats Duchy Originals all the time ...?

Brian Sibley said...

She could do worse... They're bloody good biscuits!

Regardless of whether or not Charles ever makes it to the throne, he's always got a guaranteed career in the bakery trade!

Suzanne said...

Thanks Brian, I needed a really good laugh! My house is leaking and I can't get hold of my plumber. Does Viggo know anything about leaky pipes?

Brian Sibley said...

Since Aragorn is descended from then men of Numenor which, like Atlantis, sank beneath the sea, he probably DOES know about the problem of dealing with unwanted water!

(Hope you find a plummer...)

Chris said...

from your description it sounds more like Dame Edna

Brian Sibley said...

Damn! You're right! I should have known from the hair-do!