Friday, 13 April 2007


Some time ago, I found myself sitting next to a woman at a dinner who was drinking a great deal of wine, the effects of which were clearly begining to show. Having knocked off one bottle, she ordered another and started quaffing that with undiminished enthusiasm.

I had ordered a glass of wine and had long since drained the dregs; noticing my empty glass my dining companion offered to top me up from her bottle.

"Well, thank you," I said politely.

"Itshavery good wine..." she said with that slow precision of speech that is demanded of those who are pissed!

I took a sip and agreed.

"An whatch shmore," she said, "itch stotally non-halco-holic!"

"Really?" I said, somewhat surprised.

"Oh, yesh!" she said, "but musht look for the bottlesh with the schpecial shymbol..."

She seized the bottle by the neck and indicated the relevant symbol on the back label...

"Yesh," she said, "Thatsh how you know, an' if thish shymbol shnot there then you musht be very caushous about how musch you drink!"


Boll Weavil said...

That arrow looks decidedly wilting - surely a sign that there's lots of alcohol in there and beware the effect it may have on the male drinker ! Still, its nice to be able to get smashed and have some intellectual reasoning behind it, even if it is flawed so I might use that symbol as a guide myself.

Anne said...

HaHa! That was hysterical! Great story. :D