Tuesday, 3 July 2007


Of all the songs in the world, surely the naffest is ‘The Birthday Song’, aka “Happy Birthday to You-ooooooooo”.

A tedious tune and puerile lyrics - especially when compared with those songs sung in other countries, such as Greece where the birthday boy or girl is serenaded with words which can be (roughly) translated as follows:
Long may you live [Name]
And may you live many years;
May you grow old
With white hair
May you spread out everywhere
The light of knowledge
And may everybody say
There, he/she is a wise man/woman.
However, “Happy Birthday to You” does, it seems, have its uses --- at least according to a news story this week (endorsed by various medical websites) which claimed that it is the perfect timing-device by which to ensure that you have washed your hands long enough to get them really clean.

Apparently, you simply lather up and sing “Happy Birthday to You” through TWICE -- and not too fast -- and you will have hands that are guaranteed germ-free!

And if you really can’t bring yourself to perform your ablutions while singing such a tiresome little ditty, then there is an alternative, equally cleansing number, that goes like this…
Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.
So, pick your song and off you go and get scrubbed up!


LisaH said...

Alternatively, you could use one of these germ-kiling washes and get the job done - and singing of silly songs - in half the time.
Or perhaps you can sing a naughty song that would make the task more enjoyable - perhaps to the tune of Colonel Bogey.

Brian Sibley said...

Great suggestions, LisaH, especially washing to a dirty song! I like your way of thinking!

Boll Weavil said...

Well i think I prefer the simple 'Happy Birthday to You' song to being told to get white hair and bore people to death with my 'knowledge'.With this attack on one of our cherished instituitions you have simply ensured you get one of those even more irritating musical birthday cards that plays the tune a flattened fifth lower than it should be every time you open it :-)

Brian Sibley said...

Ooops! And so near one's own birthday! Dear, dear, dear... :-)

Brian Sibley said...

Talking of birthdays, Mr Weavil, many happy returns TODAY to your wonderful twins! :-0

Qenny said...

Alternatively, don't make a habit of peeing on your fingers.


Brian Sibley said...

QENNY - Er... Right... There may, of course, be other reasons why washing your hands is desirable. Or maybe, Down Under, things are different... ;-)

Suzanne said...

Stop complaining! You should hear "happy birthday" sung by French speakers... I cringe every time!