Tuesday, 24 July 2007

NIGHTIE-KNIGHTS

Singing 'Onward Christian Soldiers', as I told you the other week, is, apparently, the ideal way to time a perfect boiled egg. But as Qenny commented at the time, not everyone feels comfortable with such blatantly militant - and military - imagery

As I pointed out, the image of Christians being an army of God began early in Church History with [Saint] Paul's letter to the followers in Ephesus, to whom he wrote...
Be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.

And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints....

Ephesians 6:10-18
'Onward Christian Soldiers' and other hymns like 'Fight the Good Fight' and John Bunyan's 'He Who Would Valiant Be' all draw their inspiration from this piece of New Testament scripture.

So to do a zealous organisation called Armor of God whose website my friend Jen ran across the other day. These good folk are currently selling clothing with what Jen rightly describes as The Ultimate Designer Label --- The Whole Armor of God Pajama set...


The Armor of of PJs are intended to "help your children to depend on God to protect them from their fears, doubts, and uncertainties at night so their sleep can be restful and peaceful."

Which might not be so easy when you've got to cope with a sheild and helmet...


Maybe it would be better to wait for -- COMING SOON! -- 'Armor of God Blankets 'or the Anna & Samuel Armor of God Pajama American Boy and Girl Dolls...



Just $9.95 plus shipping and also available (at no extra cost) as African-American Boy and Girl dolls.

[St] Paul has been responsible for a great many things in the History of the World, but with all due respect to the old boy, I do think this is one of the tackier bi-products of his ministry.

PS: Incidentally, it is probably a sexist thing, but why is the girl-doll shod with shoes [of PEACE] that have LACES, while the boy-doll only wears SLIP-ONS??

7 comments:

Boll Weavil said...

Looks a bit silly maybe, but totally harmless although I would have added a defence against cynicism before marketing it anywhere this column as I suspect the comments may not be wholly favourable !

Bentos said...

Not sure if that's the Army of God are the Barmy Army in kit.

Brian Sibley said...

GILL writes...

I have always had a problem with St Paul, who seems to me to be a homophobic misogynist and general joy killer.

Notwithstanding that however, give me the wonderful prose of the Authorised Version, or even some newer versions, over American marketing speak any time, I find it nauseating always but when it is devoted to profiteering Christianity [so called] it is much much worse.

I don't think that these hideous garments are what was meant by "Suffer the little children..."

Elliot said...

I would like to see the sheild fold out into a special tent with a cross adorning the top and the blood of christ dribbling down the side.

Brian Sibley said...

GILL - I agree (on all points)

ELLIOT - "Ask and ye shall receive..."

Elliot said...

Gosh. That's quite an offer...

Qenny said...

What marvellous pyjamas. Now, let me think, it's pyjamas a word that was brought into English from Islamic countries?

On a serious note, these things don't strike me as harmless fun at all, they strike me as another example of the insidious, brain-washing child abuse that organised religion is routinely allowed to inflict upon the world.

On a less serious note, if the mother a boy clad in these things asked him what he was doing under his blankets, he could always tell her that he was polishing his helmet.