ROYAL RESULT

CAPTION COMPETITION
THE RESULTS!

A right regal turn-out of caption entries resulted from the photo (left) of Her Maj turning up at Eton at tea-time.

HM having declined to judge the entries, we turned (not for the first time) to Ms Polkadots & Moonbeams who undertook the task of assessing the (uncredited) submissions with all due seriousness and an appropriate (i.e. essential) quantity of vino.

First, however, I would like to share with you the Editor's Picks, four honourable mentions for personally tweaking my aging funny-bone...


Sharon M:

"My husband and I were just saying, 'here today, scone tomorrow'"


Andy J Latham:

"THAT's how it's pronounced?!"


Good Dog:

"Ew, look, one has two!"


And Michael G:

"Damn, I've just been given a wedgie!"


Now, to the RUNNERS UP...

Anonymous:

"If I'd known there'd be free grub, I could've saved 20p on me cornflakes!"


Boll Weavil:

"Ma'am, I'm sorry if you thought a pair of lovely buns was a cue for another Sibley Caption Competition with men in underpants !"
[This was Highly Commended by the Judge for "Sibley-blog-awareness"!]

"Straight from Swelter's School Dinners Recipe Book Ma'am."

"Sorry about the racket Ma'am. Another Brian May on the roof!"


David Weeks:

"That jam's not from Fortnums!"

"Margerine?!"

"One has just finished one's lunch, it can't be time for tea, yet!"

"'We invite you to see us crowned at Scone,' is how the play ends... Not with scones!"


Sharon M:

"Who served them before the Sovereign? Off with their heads!"

"One isn't Rupert Murdoch, you know!"


A Snow White Sanctum:

"Egads, man! Something's still alive in there!"


Suzanne:

"What? Philip made those?"


And so to the–– WINNERS!

THIRD PLACE

ROGER:

"No, No, No, jam first then the cream! Chavs get everywhere nowadays!"

SECOND PLACE

DAVID WEEKS:

"Scones, on plastic plates?!"

FIRST PLACE

BOLL WEAVIL:

"Yes, Ma'am, I'm afraid the cooking has all gone downhill since Steerpike left the kitchen."


Many congratulations to the winners and thanks to everyone who entered!

FULLY AWAKE

A copy of the American copy of Maeve Gilmore's Titus Awakes arrives in time for the final episode of The History of Titus Groan (Radio 4, today at 15:00) which brings to a resolution the the double-narrator device that I used in the series and which was inspired by a highly personal episode in Maeve's book.

How and why did it happen that American publishers still manage to market elegantly produced books while, by comparison, their British counterparts look cheap and tawdry?

In the UK you can only get Titus Awakes as a dull-looking paperback; American readers have a hardback printed on quality paper with untrimmed page-edges and a dramatic Peake-illustrated dust-jacket...

Oh, yes, and I get my name on the cover, too!

Anyway back to the radio series: we have been wonderfully feted by the press including the Radio Times which, in its current issue, lists the concluding installment of the serial both in its PICK OF THE WEEK round-up at the front of the magazine and in the MISSED IT? section at the back ("Catch up on the best of recent TV & radio") where it is described as a RADIO GEM:

A triumphant sprawl of a dramatisation , celebrating 100 years since the birth of acute English fantasy novelist Mervyn Peake... Lavishly mounted and delivered with relish by a fine, fine cast including David Warner, Tamsin Greig, Miranda Richardson and Luke Treadaway, the series is available in full on iPlayer, ready to be binged on.

And, finally on this self-aggrandising topic, when you hear a poor unfortunate soul being subjected to some fiendish experiment in the Scientist's 'factory', the agonized scream you hear is a chilling Hitchcockian cameo by Yourstruly – and to prove it, here I am mid-scream...

Photo: Islay Bell-Webb

HISTORY FINALS

If you missed, 'Titus Abroad', the fifth part of my play cycle, The History of Titus Groan, based on the novels of Mervyn Peake, you can catch it tonight on BBC Radio 4 at 21:00.

And you can hear Part 6, 'Titus Alive', also on Radio 4, tomorrow, Sunday 14 August, at 15:00.

In the sixth and final play, Titus is entranced by the beautiful but manipulative Cheeta, played by Morvern Christie..

Falling foul of her machinations, he finds himself – can it possibly be? – back in Gormenghast...

My Titus play cycle concludes with episodes drawn from Titus Awakes, a fourth 'Gormenghast' novel written by Mervyn Peake's widow, the late Maeve Gilmore, and recently published with an introduction by myself. In this new material, Titus encounters an Artist (David Warner) and discovers his destiny...

All of the episodes, as they are broadcast, will remain accessible via the BBC iPlayer until the series is complete. Then, eight days later, it will be possible to download and purchase all six hours of drama to relive at your leisure.

And (if you're not Sibleyed-out) you can stay tuned to BBC Radio 4 for the repeat of my second appearance on Nigel Ree's much-loved panel-game, Quote... Unquote... at 23:00.

Photos: Islay Bell-Webb

ROYAL REMINDER

The closing date for entries for the current

CAPTION COMPETITION
is fast approaching!

Please tell me (via comments, below), not later than midnight GMT tomorrow, what Her Maj is saying or thinking on being accosted by a phalanx of young Etonians proffering scones!

WEIGHTING AROUND

When you think of the Canadian city of Calgary, you probably think of the Calgary Stampede and cowboys on galloping horses rounding up cattle.

What you are probably unlikely to think of is hippopotami...

But, as Sheila and Roger discovered on their recent travels, each of the luggage carousels at Calgary Airport features a different animal and, in the vicinity of Oversize Baggage, you will find a hippopotamus who seems to be saying, "Guess where your missing suitcase is?"


Anyway, I am reminded that Mitch Hedberg once astutely asked: "Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?"

Photo: Sheila Shrigley © 2011

DON'T QUOTE ME

You may recall that I was foolhardy enough to display my Ignorance Quotient by taking part in Quote... Unquote... the warhorse of panel games devoted to the quoted and misquoted words of the famous and infamous. Well, today is my second appearance.

Here's pretty much the same picture of the talent line-up as I posted last time but with one difference...

Left to right: actor and comedian, Ardal O'Hanlon; the show's creator and chairman, Nigel Rees; broadcaster, Shelagh Fogarty; Yours Truly; the new addition – Quotes Reader and Announcer (and one of the veteran voices of the BBC) Peter Jefferson; and actor, Martin Jarvis.

You can hear how we all got on and catch some of our favourite quotes and anecdotes by tuning
in to BBC Radio 4 at 13:30 today.

The show will be repeated on Radio 4 next Saturday evening at 23:00 and, thereafter, can be listened to via BBC iPlayer for the following seven days. And don't take any notice of the fact that the people at iPlayer have chosen to drop my name from the list of performers – they will regret it when they get my solicitor's letter!

If you'd like to know more about the show (and the whole quoting game) visit the official website: Quote... Unquote...

COMING FIFTH IN HISTORY

If you missed, 'Titus Departs', the fourth part of my play cycle, The History of Titus Groan, based on the novels of Mervyn Peake, you can catch it tonight on BBC Radio 4 at 21:00.

And you can hear Part 5, 'Titus Abroad', also on Radio 4, tomorrow, Sunday 7 August, at 15:00.

Having deserted his ancestral home, Titus finds himself in an alien world with many enemies, but fortunately a couple of caring friends: the eccentric Muzzlehatch and loving Juno, played by Gerard Murphy and Maureen Beattie...

It was an unexpected delight to work with Gerard who thirty years ago this year (in what was his first ever radio role and in the very same BBC studio) narrated my dramatisation of The Lord of the Rings!

You can read my thoughts on the challenge of taking Titus out of the crumbling confines of Gormenghast into the wider world on the BBC Radio 4 blog.

All of the episodes, as they are broadcast, will remain accessible via the BBC iPlayer until the series is complete. Then, eight days later, it will be possible to download and purchase all six hours of drama.

Photo: Islay Bell-Webb

MAN OF MAGIC

BIRTHDAY GREETINGS

to
Master Magician, Illusionist, Actor, Showman, Yachtsman, Pilot, Death-defying Stunt Artist...

JOHN CALVERT


100
years old today

still performing magic and booked to appear at the London Palladium in September!

ROYAL REACTION

CAPTION COMPETITION TIME!

It was clearly an alarming moment for Her Majesty when she encountered scone-bearing Etonians...


What was she thinking or saying? Let me know...

Answers via 'comments' below. Closing date for submissions Friday 12 August.

WHO ART

As every telly-addict knows, 23 November 1963, saw the first recorded visit to earth of a Time and Relative Dimension in Space (Tardis) cunningly disguised as a Police Box, when the iconic TV series, Doctor Who debuted on the BBC.

Almost a year after Doctor Who premiered, the Time Lord began a parallel series of adventures in the pages of TV Comic and he has continued to appear in comics for every one of the successive 47 years, gaining his own title in 1979 with Doctor Who Weekly, and is still going strong today in Doctor Who Magazine.

The rich heritage of British comic-book art represented in the pages of these various publications (as well as books and annuals) are currently being celebrated at London's Cartoon Museum in an exhibition DOCTOR WHO in COMICS: 1964-2011 which features art by a pantheon of British comic greats including Frank Bellamy, Martin Geraghty, Dave Gibbons, Dave Lloyd, John Ridgway, Andrew Skilleter and Lee Sullivan who specially created this piece – 'The Usual Suspects' – for the exhibition...

There are some fascinating time-travelling anomalies like the fact that during the wilderness years when BBC TV was 'Who-less', his comic personae (multiple Doctor stories were not uncommon) were still enjoying all manner of exploits often in the company of characters from the series like Sarah Jane-Smith, the Brigadier and K-9 as well as exclusively comic-book compatriots such as his first black companion, Sharon, created in pen-and-ink twenty-five years before the flesh-and-blood Mickey or Martha Jones joined the Doctor on screen.

There there are the ever-present, ever-menacing enemies: The Master, the Cybermen, Davros and, of course ("EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"), the Daleks...

From Dalek Omnibus, 1976, Artist unknown

Clearly, this is an exhibition aimed at the Doctror's legions of faithful followers, but anyone with an interest in half-a-century of British graphic art will not want to miss this truly fabulous collection of over one hundred pieces of classic Who-art of which these are just a few examples...

TV Action and Countdown, 28 October 1972
by Dennis Hooper

Promotional image for Doctor Who and the Genesis of the Daleks
1975, Artist unknown

'City of the Damned' by Dave Gibbons
Doctor Who Weekly, 12 December1979

'Tides of Time' (detail) by Dave Gibbons
Doctor Who Monthly, 1982

'Voyager' (detail) by John Ridgway
Doctor Who Magazine, 1994

'The Crimson Hand' (detail) by Martin Geraghty, David Roach, James Offredi
Doctor Who Magazine, 2010

The Brilliant Book of Doctor Who 2011, Martin Geraghty

The exhibition DOCTOR WHO in COMICS: 1964-2011 remains on show until 30 October

The Cartoon Museum, 35 Little Russell Street, London WC1A 2HH

Telephone: 0207 580 8155
Email: info@cartoonmuseum.org
Check at www.cartoonmuseum.org for details of special events

OPENING TIMES:
Tuesday-Saturday: 10:30–17:3; Sunday: 12.00–17:30
(Closed on Mondays including Bank Holiday Mondays)

ADMISSION
£5.50 Adults; £4 Concessions; £3 Students with valid student ID
Free to Under-18s, Art Fund Members and Friends of the Cartoon Museum
Children 12 or under must be accompanied by an adult

Images: © BBC © Doctor Who Magazine.Panini UK

Click on the 'Dr Who' tag below for previous Who postings on this blog