EDMUND WHITE (1940-2025)

The death, today, of  author Edmund White, aged 85, weirdly happens to coincide with my reading of the final chapter of his recently published last novel The Loves of My Life: A Sex Memoir, an unabashed account of his relationships and dalliances with (he brazenly claims) over 3000 men.

Starkly frank, occasionally tender but more often rough and fleeting, many of these encounters are less romantic than raunchy. But White was a gay man who lived his life across the years when a love that dare not speak its name became one that could kill the one you love and beyond into the present age when for many (but certainly not all) the issue of sexual orientation is barely an issue at all.

 

White’s true literary legacy rests not on the curtain-call that is The Loves of My Life, but on his ground-breaking novel, A Boy’s Own Story (for my younger self a kind of apotheosis) and its candid, semi-autobiographical sequels, The Beautiful Room is Empty and The Farewell Symphony. Other noted volumes include his first novel Forgetting Elena, City Boy, States of Desire, My Lives and his incisive biographies of fellow gay novelists, Marcel Proust and Jean Genet.

 

Edmund White unflinchingly spoke of his times to his times about living and loving, desiring and dying.

 

 

VALENTINE'S DAY

A Short Note on the ART of LOVE…

The brilliant American artist, J. C. Leyendecker (1874-1951), celebrated for his memorable poster and advertising illustrations, spent his career depicting idealized images of the sexes that were redolent of the spirit of the 1920s. That imagery, for his generation, served as archetypes of heterosexual masculinity and femininity. But while a nation adored his work – and sought to emulate the style and glamour of the Leyendecker men and women – the creator lived a closeted life common to so many gay men and women of that era.

Today, his work has undergone a process of homoerotic decoding and, on this Valentine's Day, I'm sharing three of his classic paintings: 'The Butterfly Couple' (1923) and its romantic usage as a magazine advertisement for Kuppheimer Good Clothes, and two covers for The Saturday Evening Post (March 1913 and 1934)...

 

 

 

Alongside these ladies and gents, I give you a re-imagined amalgamation of Leyendecker's craft (together with appropriate Evening Post lettering) made in 2010 by James Blah as a Valentine’s Day card for his boyfriend.

 

 As the Bard neatly observed:

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind,
And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." 

– A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 1, scene 1 

Let's remember J. C. Leyendecker for his astonishing art while celebrating the fact that we live in a time when, for the benefit of all humanity, Cupid is increasingly – and thankfully – being "painted blind". 

A RIGHT ROYAL AFFAIR

Everyone's going nuts over Amazon Prime's Red, White & Royal Blue the gay rom-com based on Casey McQuiston's best-selling book of the same name. The premise: an enemies-to-friends-to-lovers story in which the Romeos in question are, respectively, the son of the first female President of the United States and the second (and therefore 'spare') son of the King of England.

 

It's not difficult to see why it's a hit: it's quirky and, obviously, 'queerky'; it's corny, cute and sweetish (though mercifully not over-sugared); it's fluffy, fuzzy and funny – if quite a long way short of Richard-Curtis-style comedy. And, in case you wondered, its lead actors (Taylor Zakhar Perez and Nicholas Galitzineare) are unashamed eye-candy-men and their relationship is... well...HOT. And I mean hot in a way that future seasons of Heartstopper cannot (and absolutely shouldn't) think of trying to emulate.

 

However, the high-octane sexiness is craftily filtered through a golden lens of innocence, so that the messiness of lust and desire are neatly neutralised by the honest-to-goodness purity of true love's dream.

 

If the film is 'about' anything, it's a hotch-potch of musings about Politics and Protocols, Duty, Family and Country and what happens when they impinge on individual choice and personal happiness.

 

Matthew López's direction is workmanlike – which is a compliment rather than a criticism, because it never gets in the way of the storytelling. The supporting cast (including Uma Thurman as POTUS) are good-to-excellent with the notable exception of Stephen Fry's toe-curling cameo as the King of England, which is self-consciously awkward and, frankly, both miscast and misplayed – although, thankfully, for only one scene towards the end of the movie!

 

The problem with Red, White & Royal Blue (and, I'm sorry, but there is a problem) is simply that these fairy-tale kingdom versions of White and Buck Houses and are burdened by too many attempts to draw (or imply) parallels with characters already familiar to viewers of The Crown. 

 

The 'Let's Pretend' Britain found here could have been more convincingly sold to us had it strayed into a more Ruritanian representation of privilege, position, pomp-and-circumstance instead of employing character names like Philip, Beatrice and, especially, Prince Henry – better known as Harry – which have totally misleading implications of satire that really does not serve this slight but entertaining story of the romance between Britain's Prince Charming and Washington's Mr Disarming.

 

 

THE ART OF THE COMIC-BOOK (5)

[Click images to enlarge]

To mark the beginning of Pride Month, I've chosen Travis Moore & Tamara Bonvillain's variant cover art for Superman: Son of Kal-El Issue #5 (released 9 November 2021) showing Jon Kent (son of Clark Kent, aka Superman, and Lois Lane and currently known as “the Superman of Earth,”) dramatically flying in for a passionate embrace. 

The source of Jon's attraction is a journalist: yes, like father, like son ––– except that, in Jon's case, the journo in question – social activist Jay Nakamura – is male! 

Although Jon Kent, formally presumed to be heterosexual, was not the first comic-book hero to reveal an LGBTQ+ alignment, it caused a minor sensation in the comic world – unsurprising, perhaps, since 'Superman' suddenly identifying as 'bi' was a radical departure from comic historicity. Certainly, I couldn't help pondering how I, as a closeted 10-year-old comic-reading lad, would have reacted in making such a discovery! 

The series – all too short-lived – was written by Tom Taylor and illustrated by John Timms who was responsible for the art on the pages shown below, augmented by the work of colorist, Hi-Fi, and letterer, David Sharpe.

WOOLY THINKING

Don't you just love Vintage Ads?

What can one say? Other than to wonder whether this 1940s ad for Jester Wools was the origin of that old joke:

"My mother made me a homosexual!"

"If I give her the wool, will she make me one, too?"

A CHRISTMAS HUMBUG

One-hundred-and-sixty-nine years ago today ≠ 19 December, 1843 – the London publishing company of Chapman and Hall issued a small red-bound book by one of the greatest writers of the day. Almost instantly this volume was hailed as a masterpiece and the intervening years have done nothing to diminish its reputation.

Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol introduced into our language the names of 'Ebenezer Scrooge', 'Jacob Marley', 'Bob Cratchit' and 'Tiny Tim' along with the phrase 'as dead as a doornail' and that egregious seasonal appellation, 'Bah, Humbug!' that has resolutely lingered on – as is testified to by this festive offering from Tesco's cake department...

Writing in Fraser's Magazine in February 1844, William Makepeace Thackeray expressed the opinion that A Christmas Carol was 'a national benefit and to every man or woman who reads it, a personal kindness.' He continued: 'The last two people I heard speak of it were women; neither knew the other, or the author, and both said, by way of criticism, "God bless him!"'

There is, seemingly, no end to the permutations worked on Dickens' original: the story has been turned into a score or more of films and TV productions, untold stage adaptions (including operas, ballets and musicals) and recordings on radio, gramophone and CD. There have been versions featuring The Flintstones, The Jetsons, The Muppets, Mickey Mouse and Mr Magoo and even (heaven help us) Barbie! There have been black Scrooges, Jewish Scrooges, female Scrooges and, this year, a gay Scrooge...

But it really doesn't seem to matter how often this little tale is re-presented, re-interpreted, referenced and parodied by illustrators, cartoonists, dramatists, composers and filmmakers, the glorious spirit of Dickens' original fable always manages to shine radiantly through.

In 1993, I celebrated what was then the 150th anniversary of the publication of this most remarkable book with a radio feature entitled, obviously, Humbug! If you've never heard this programme – or even if you have! – you can tune-in below as an accompaniment, perhaps, to a glass of something warming and an early mince pie!

NO-PANTS PANTOS

As we hurtle towards the Christmas Pantomime season–––

"Oh, no, we don't!" –– "Oh, yes, we DO!"

–––here's a revisionist treatment on some of those fairy-tales that are so beloved by panto producers. These American versions (as you can see from this picture of Jack and his outsize beanstalk ) are  particularly notable for –– a marked absence of pants!

The following saucy re-writes of our childhood fantasies are from Happy Endings, this year's 'Broadway Bares' burlesque show: a fundraiser for the organization, Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, a non-profit organisation, based in New York, created as the theatre community's response to the AIDS crisis.

'Broadway Bares' was founded in 1992 by American theatre director and choreographer Jerry Mitchell and, to date, its events have raised over $5 million.

So, well done them and let's ring up the festive curtain on...

Cinderella (or, should that be Sinderella?)...

Little Red Riding Hood ('It's behind you!')...

The Emperor's New Clothes ('It's behind him!')...

Puss in Boots ('Watch out, Mice!')...

Snow White (and... er... the Garden Gnomes?)...

Not to mention Snow's perennial nemesis, the Wicked Queen...

Rapunzel (The last to let you down!)...

Goldilocks and the Three Bears (but which one is Baby Bear?)...

And Sleeping Beauty (who is, poor girl, clearly tired out from reading too many books late at night!)...

GREEN AND GAY

So.... It isn't Batman (and/or Robin) after all who's been chosen to live the gay life; the DC superhero who's trading in his heterosexuality is....

GREEN LANTERN

Under all that green anger, it seems, he has a softer side...

Personally, I'd have thought Green Lantern (aka Alan Scott) had more than enough stuff to cope with already –– but then, again, haven't we all?!

Read the full story here 

COMIX COME OUT

I wonder whether Nick Clegg is a comic book fan?

Do you suppose – when he's not fagging for Head Prefect Cameron – that Cleggers is closeted away in the Tuck Room reading the latest X-Men adventures?

I ask because it occurs to me that he may just have been encouraged in his dedication to the cause of 'gay marriage' (currently causing so much Conservative apoplexy) by the revelation that one of Marvel Comics' superheroes is about to enter into a same-sex union.

Northstar (left) was the first openly gay comic book character. True identity, champion skier, Jean-Paul Beaubier, is a mutant who can move and fly at near light speeds and possesses superhuman stamina, endurance and reflexes.

Northstar's sexuality was somewhat nervously revealed in 1992, but a decade on he has proposed to his partner, Kyle, and the pair are to set be wed on 20 June in issue 51 of Astonishing X-Men.

Not to be out-done, rival comic book publishers, DC Comics have let slip that they are about to "reintroduce a DC character who was previously straight and will now will be 'one of our most prominent gay characters'.” Who will it be? Superman? Batman? Robin? Wonder Woman? Time will tell...

Meanwhile, maybe Cleggers ought to get some extra copies Astonishing X-Men No. 51 for the Prefect's Common Room.

Source: Bleedingcool.com.

WHO KNEW IT?

An amoosing revelation from the Dairy Department: gay cows!

GAY-IT-YOURSELF

I bet his shirt came from Austin Reed!

AUSTIN REED, OUT-FITTERS

After that unintentionally ambiguous Damart advertisement, I was interesting to discover that an emporium once noted for its refined and conservative taste and (in the Gents Department) unquestioned machismo...


...was unwittingly pushing at the closet door back in the 1950s!

ORIENTEERING

It was Ko-Ko, the Lord High Executioner, in Gilbert and Sullivan's Mikado who had a little list "of society offenders... who never would be missed" and I recently discovered that I am on a not-so-little list – in the fairly celebrated company of (among others)...
Marc Almond
W H Auden
Dirk Bogarde
Benjamin Britten
Christian Dior
E M Forster
Edward Lear,
Maurice Sendak
Stephen Sondheim
Franco Zefferelli
both Francis Bacons
and Edward Albee (who once told me off in an interview for mispronouncing his name as Al-bee when it should be All-bee).


The list has been compiled by NNDB (Notable Names Database) which describes itself as...

"An intelligence aggregator that tracks the activities of people we have determined to be noteworthy, both living and dead. Superficially, it seems much like a Who's Who where a noted person's curriculum vitae is available... But it mostly exists to document the connections between people, many of which are not always obvious. A person's otherwise inexplicable behavior is often understood by examining the crowd that person has been associating with."

My entry is HERE and as for that list (which may or may not explain my "otherwise inexplicable behavior") if I tell you that it also features Quentin Crisp, Frankie Howerd, Joe Orton, Rock Hudson, Truman Capote, John Gielgud, Elton John, Noel Coward, Boy George and Michelangelo you may begin to figure out what we all have in common.

Frankly, I think it's an inspiring list and one that a person should be proud to be on.

In case you are still in doubt: check it OUT! (And I do mean 'OUT'!)

S.W.A.L.K.

Today is NATIONAL KISSING DAY - a bit inconvenient, being a Monday, but maybe it will bring a bit of unexpected enjoyment to your journeys to and from work or, indeed, at work...

Of course, there are kisses and kisses...

And, as I'm sure you know, they're not all Romeo-and-Julietesque...

Nevertheless, here are a few interesting facts about kissing...

The 'science' of kissing is called philematology

A one-minute kiss burns 26 calories!

The average person spends 20,160 minutes of their lifetime kissing,
which amounts to two whole weeks!

Some people say that when you smooch a person with
the same hair colour, it results in a more passionate kiss

Of course, our imaginings (and, perhaps, our expectations) of kissing have been heavily influenced by the movies, and film stars have been puckering-up pretty much from the start of the industry. In fact, the first-ever on-screen kiss was in one of the earliest films to be commercially shown.

The Kiss (also known as The May Irwin Kiss, The Rice-Irwin Kiss and The Widow Jones) is a 47-second-long piece of 1896 actuality, recreating a scene from the New York stage comedy, The Widow Jones, starring May Irwin and John Rice.

According to Edison film historian, C Musser, the actors staged their kiss for the camera at the request of the New York World newspaper. The resulting film (directed by William Heise for Thomas Edison) was the most popular Edison Vitascope film in 1896, whose catalogue advertised it thus:

"They get ready to kiss, begin to kiss, and kiss and kiss and kiss in a way that brings down the house every time."

However, the film scandalized kinetoscope-goers in some places where it was screened and in some cities it was greeted with outraged newspaper editorials and calls for police action from high-minded moralists. One appalled critic spluttered: "The spectacle of the prolonged pasturing on each other's lips was beastly enough in life size on the stage but magnified to gargantuan proportions and repeated three times over it is absolutely disgusting."

In 1999, this shocking piece of footage was deemed so "culturally significant" by the United States Library of Congress that it was selected for preservation in the National Film Registry.

And, after all that, here's what's left of the original footage that caused all that fuss...

After that, the cinema got down to the serious business of snogging and here's a rather good montage of some (but, by no means, all) of the best of the screen kissers at work...

Since there wasn't so much as a single same-sex kiss in that reel, here's Jake and Heath (aka Jack and Ennis) getting to grips with a few manly kisses on (and off) Brokeback Mountain...

And two more, strangely overlooked, kisses that are among my favourite silver screen smackers, the first of which is one of the hottest (and wettest) clinches ever filmed: Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in the 1953 drama, From Here to Eternity...

"How did you plan the famous kiss scene?" I once asked the film's director, Fred Zinnemann. "Oh," he replied casually, "I asked Deborah and Burt to lie on the beach and we just waited for the tide to come in..."

And, finally, one of cutest cinema kisses: though it's scarcely more than a nuzzle of the muzzle, it's part of one of the most romantic - and, OK, kitchiest - love scenes in the movies. Yes, it's that dinner-date from Disney's 1955 animated feature, Lady and the Tramp...

Incidentally, that night of discreetly depicted canine bliss in the park is the reason why, in the film's final scene Lady and Tramp are seen as having been blessed with puppies!

Anyway, I hope you get a least one kiss today - even if it's from the dog!

Images: arty kisses by Auguste Rodin, Gustav Klimt and Frank Dicksee.

ROMAN GAIETIES

We went to see the Hadrian exhibition at the British Museum where an exquisite bust of Hadrian's Greek male lover, Antinous, provided a stunning centerpiece...

Details of Antinous' relationship with Hadrian are sketchy: according to one account Hadrian encountered Antinous when he and his entourage were accompanied him on his many journeys through the empire. A somewhat more romatic version tells how Hadrian (who was, incidentally married to Vibia Sabina, the grand-niece of his predecessor, Trajan) had the empire searched for the most beautiful youth, and chose Antinous.

The circumstances of Antinous' death during an imperial visit to Egypt are also vague: in October 130, according to Hadrian, "Antinous was drowned in the Nilus," but it is not known whether his death was the result of accident, suicide, murder or some kind of religious sacrifice. Whatever the truth, Hadrian was inconsolable and his grief for the loss of his lover and subsequently approved his deification.

Thus are - or were - gods born...

Talking of Roman emperors: overheard by David in the exhibition:

"You know Jane? Well, she's got Marcus Aurelius
in her conservatory..."

Stuffed?

And here's Buttons' (somewhat limited) view of the exhibition.

POLARI-VOUS?

Where else but in BRIGHTON would you find a shop called...


So, that's where Julian and Sandy finally ended up!

For those of you too young to understand this cryptic comment...

'Julian and Sandy', played by Hugh Paddick and Kenneth Williams (left), were regular characters in the BBC radio comedy show Round the Horne.

Said to have been named after Julian Slade and Sandy Wilson (respectively authors of the '50s shows, Salad Days and The Boyfriend), this outrageous duo were originally conceived as a pair of "luvvie" actors doing housework for the show's star, Kenneth Horne until their next theatrical engagement came along.

When it was decided that these characters were too sadly pathetic to be really funny, script writers Barry Took and Marty Feldman turned them into swishily camp 'chorus boy types' who began most of their appearances with the line:

"Hello, I'm Julian and this is my friend, Sandy..."

Jules and Sandy conversed in 'Polari', that was the secret language of gay subculture in Britain at a time when homosexuality was illegal.

The origin of Polari is complex: a combination of Romany, corrupted words from Italian, backslang ('riah' for 'hair'), rhyming slang, sailor slang, and thieves' cant with the addition of a few words of Yiddish.

One of the primary sources for Polari was 'Palare', a secret language of carnival folk (from the Italian word for 'to talk') that is still used in the circus and on the fairground - though without the gay over(or under)tones. Its adoption by gays may have started amongst theatrical homosexuals and date back to a time when the world of theatre was closer to that of the circus.

Its use by gays was twofold, as one internet source advises...

On one hand, it would be used as a means of cover, to allow gay subjects to be discussed aloud without being understood; on the other hand, it was also used by some, particularly the most visibly camp and effeminate, as a further way of asserting their identity.

And, according to h2g2 the BBC's 'unconventional guide to life, the universe and everything':

Even within the relatively small Polari-speaking gay community in London there were different 'dialects'.

The 'West End Queens' spoke a version of the language which contained a lot of theatre-speak and they regarded both themselves and their slang as much more upmarket than the East End version which was heavily influenced by canal language and criminal slang. Whichever version you spoke, however, you could be sure that you wouldn't be understood by the uninitiated.

Polari formed part of Julian and Sandy's weekly banter as a couple of omi-palones (gay men) as in the use of phrases like: "How bona to vada your dolly old eek!"

'Bona' was 'good' (a corruption of the Italian 'buona'), 'vada' meant 'see' (from the Italian 'vedere'), 'dolly' was pleasant, and 'eek' was 'face' (an abbreviation of the backslang word 'ecaf').

Other common words used in the show were 'lallies' (for 'legs'), 'luppers' ('fingers') and 'zhoosh' meaning to fluff up your 'riah' or, generally, to tart yourself up!

Although Polari has now largely fallen into disuse, doubtless as a result of the decriminalisation of homosexuality, accompanied by a relaxation of public attitudes and an understandable gay repudiation of an essentially ghettoising language.

Nevertheless, many words of Polari are now in every day use such as naff, bevvy, camp, drag, queen, scarper, dishy, mincing, butch and bitch. And, in 1990, Morrissey released an album called Bona Drag ('drag' was palare for clothes) featuring the hit 'Picadilly Palare' which included the lyric:

So bona to vada, with your lovely eek and your lovely riah.

As for Julian and Sandy, they had various employments during the run of Round the Horne, working, at one time, for a firm of solicitors called Bona Law (a joke on the post-WWI Prime Minister, Andrew Bonar Law) which provided them with a predictable double entendre...

HORNE: Will you take my case?

JULIAN: Well, it depends on what it is. We've got a criminal practice that takes up most of our time.

HORNE: Yes, but apart from that — I need legal advice.

SANDY: Ooh, isn't he bold?

Now it seems they've opened a food shop in Brighton - a bone fide one, at that! - which, to my mind is completely dolly and zhooshy!

SUSPENDED SENTENCE

A little while ago I mentioned the plight of a young Iranian who was seeking asylum in Britain because his boyfriend had been hanged in Iran for sodomy and he was fearful that returning to his homeland would be a one way ticket to the gallows. He was justified in his anxiety since an estimated 4000 gay men and lesbians are believed to have been hanged in Iran in the last 30 years.

Mercifully, as you may have heard, the Home Office has now reconsidered the man's case and granted him asylum. Here is the story as reported by the BBC. Those of us who grew up in Britain at a time when homosexuality was a crime, will applaud the Home Secretary's decision and hope that a day will come when there will be no countries in the world where homosexuals have to live and love under threat of the death penalty.

HUMAN RIGHTS BE HANGED!

I am abandoning the usual, frivolous, light-hearted tone of this blog today in order to draw your attention to a story in yesterday's issue of The Times.

It begins...

A gay Iranian teenager faces deportation from Britain and execution in his home country after a Dutch court refused to hear his asylum claim. Mehdi Kazemi, 19, will be forced to return to Britain, where his asylum application was rejected last year.

He is then expected to be “removed” to Iran where his boyfriend was hanged two years ago for sodomy. The ruling will put the Home Office under renewed pressure to reassess his case — or face the possibility of sending a young man to his death. The department’s own guidance concedes that Iran executes homosexuals but rejects the claim that there is a systematic repression of gay men and lesbians.

The emphasis is mine and is probably unnecessary since the patent absurdity of this statement is unlikely to have passed you by.

I would urge you to read the story in full: Gay teenager is facing gallows as his asylum bid is rejected; along with an earlier Times article from last year: Gays should be hanged, says Iranian minister.

And anyone doubting the likelihood of this young gay man ending his life on an Iranian gallows should contemplate the widely-reported accusation that 4,000 homosexual men and women have been executed in Iran in the last thirty years.

OUT OF THE CELLULOID CLOSET

One of the potentially interesting new films to have its UK release this month is The Boss of It All (Direktøren for det hele) from the innovative Danish film director, Lars Von Trier whose pictures include Breaking the Waves and Dancer in the Dark and who was a co-founder of the avant-garde Dogme 95 collective which undertook to pursue a purist approach to film-making by refusing expensive and spectacular special effects, post-production modifications and other gimmickry choosing, instead, to focus on story and performances.

However, in making The Boss of It All, Trier seems to have embraced rather than shunned the technological trickery of modern movie-making since the film has been shot using the 'Automavision' process, which requires the director to select the best possible fixed camera position and then leave it to a computer to choose when to tilt, pan or zoom.

Anyway, the film is already generating some lively word of mouth and is clearly going to be worth a watch...

Meanwhile, I was reminded that Lars Von Trier made history by directing the first ever cinema commercial to not only portray a same-sex relationship but to do so in a delightfully romantic (even erotic) way. Entitled Timian (Thyme) it was made to advertise the Danish newspaper Politiken and was made for Saatchi & Saatchi Advertising in 1993...



The extraordinary range of gay and lesbian images (good, bad and indifferent) portrayed in commercials can be seen on the website of the Commercial Closet Association: a watchdog that monitors not just offensive portrayals of sexual orientation but also flagrant pursuits of the pink pound!

Here's their own commercial...

TALKING PANTS

Shortly before Christmas, I blogged this picture of David Beckham showing off (among other things) his new Georgio Armani underpants that seemed to win general approval from even the harshest critics among my readers: viz Gill and her friend, The Duchess.

Evidently, this readership was not alone: following the launch of this campaign, the London store, Selfridges, reported a 30% rise in sales of Armani briefs - though whether purchasers achieved the same level of 'rise' as Mr Beckham is not reported!

Armani will doubtless be hoping for a new boost from the latest picture of Becks in his dacks...


And the football-model (who clearly knows which side his buns are buttered) is playing a particularly smart game by acknowledging that he has probably as many gay admirers as female ones, recently telling a BBC Radio 2 interviewer:

I'm very honored to have the tag of gay icon. Maybe it's things like [the fact] I like to look after myself, I like to look smart and presentable most of the time.

I always liked to look good, even when I was a little kid. I was given the option when I was a page boy once of either wearing a suit or wearing knickerbockers and long socks and ballet shoes - and I chose the ballet shoes and knickerbockers. It was a little bit strange at the time and my dad gave me a bit of stick - but I was happy.

Oh, David, darling, pleeeeease!

Meanwhile, here's an alternative approach to underwear advertising from McAlson, makers of 'The World's Most Comfortable Boxer Shorts'...